Happy Birthday!

(that scowl looks very familiar!)

Happy Birthday Kevin!! So I guess you are officially, over the hill now--but still looking pretty darn good!!

Alek was looking forward to a big party, he wanted to jump out and yell surprise, but daddy beat us home.

So we settled for some singing and cake.

Hopefully the new birthday grill will be ready for pick up this weekend!

Wonder what the chef will be grilling up?

Happy Birthday! We love you and hope this year is extra special and extra fun!!

Soccer starts

What a nice weekend we had. Saturday morning we spent at a Family Fun day set up by the international adoption clinic at CHOP. There were all different play stations and lots of activities. It was so nice to meet up with some families I had only spoken to online. It is wonderful to see all these amazing, beautiful families, and children from all over the world. Alek thought they were all from Russia, but I explained to him all the different countries of the kiddos he met. Once Maks warmed up to the situation, he really enjoyed himself. He loved the basketball nets and the moonbounce the best. Alek loved the moonbounce and swimming. He was so proud of himself that he did two flips in the water without taking a breath, he said next time he wants to do 3.

It was such a great morning, we all enjoyed ourselves.

The boys were even more excited to wake up from nap to find out Keeley and Ryan were coming up to play. As we were going to bed, Alek said he had such a fun day and wanted to do it all again tomorrow.

Today was the first day of soccer. Alek started with an ear infection last night, thankfully in the ear where the one tube is left, so it is draining well and the drops seem to help. Alek was very excited for soccer, especially since his shirts this season are orange. His favorite color. He did great during practice sesssion, altho it was so windy and he was complaining his ear hurt. Next up was game, he was ready, started taking the ball down field, and it was taken away by the opposing team and then came the tears. He was so mad they took it away. He went out and tried again, but he kept getting so upset. I could tell his ear was hurting him and it was draining alot. So we called it a day, apologized to the coach and headed home. Hopefully next week is a little better!! He said he would practice with daddy this week.

Isn't it Ironic?

Since being diagnosed with endometriosis 8 years ago, I knew eventually I would be looking at a more permanent treatment option. I have tried every medication (including a clinical trial), many surgeries, and alternative treatments. Everything works for awhile and then my symptoms rear their ugly head again.
Since our family is complete and we had no desire to ever try to get pregnant, I focused on just dealing with my pain. I had a good run for a little over a year, but the past six months I pretty much have been taking anti-inflammatories daily. I knew I was risking GI issues, so it was time to discuss the H word (hysterectomy). After several consults and discussions, I made my decision.

It is finally scheduled for May 12th, yes the day after Mother's Day. Kind of ironic to me that all I will be having removed was supposed to make me a mother, but didn't. Well I guess in a round about way, they did. They failed and we now have our two awesome boys and experienced the journey of a lifetime, so I guess I should really thank them for it. I have fondly named these parts, "the bitches". Seemed like a fun name for the group. I know this is the right decision as this is definitely affecting my quality of life and I have lots of worries of my increased risks of ovarian cancer as well. But it was definitely a tough decision to make.

I have definitely been going thru a wide range of emotions. I am looking forward to getting it over with and being able to hopefully live each day pain free. But I am also sad at losing part of what makes you a woman? I also am scared, scared at being young and going on HRT, scared of surgery and all the what ifs.
Thankfully I will be undergoing this laproscopically using the Da Vinci system (it is actually pretty cool). This makes my recovery time significantly shorter ( 2 weeks is all I will be out of work), altho I have been forewarned that it could take awhile to feel back to normal in terms of energy and strength. But I am optomistic.

So hopefully this all goes smoothly and by the end of the summer I will be a new and improved woman!!
I will try to enjoy my last month with the "bitches" and say my good byes!

To be a kid again

The boys have their new favorite game, I know, probably won't win me the Mother of the Year award I have been vying for, but I so remember doing this with my brother and the rug burns on the belly and all the laughs that went along with it. It totally cracks me up watching them do this.

Some Easter pics

Easter was nice. The day before we did the rounds and visited Granny and Pop Pop and Grammom and Poppy. The boys got to do an egg hunt at Granny's which they loved and they got golf clubs and a soccer ball from Grammom and Poppy, so they definitely had a good day.

That night, T came over to babysit as Kevin and I had a birthday party to attend. The boys dyed Easter eggs with her and Alek told me how fun it was. The egss turned out cute too.

I had asked Alek what they did and he told me, they "laid" eggs with TT. So cute. I started calling him my little hen that day-he didn't like that too much.

So the eggs were hidden the next morning. The boys did their egg hunt and received their baskets (as the bunny was lazy this year, the pirate and sports themed baskets from Target had to suffice). They were a big hit and Maks loved his new nerf football and Alek loved playing pirate.

Alek and I went to church. Unfortunately he didn't want to go to children's church as he didn't want to leave me, so he sat thru the whole service, he did great aside from dropping his sippy cup in the middle of prayer. I thought the older woman in front of me was going to have a heart attack!

We spent Easter dinner with Pop and Noni at Nana and Uncle Billy's house. More presents of course, the boys had fun chasing the cat around, I know she was happy to see us leave!

Dinner was nice and it was great spending some quiet time with Nana, well as quiet as you can get with my two!

So that was our Easter, low key and fun.

We have definitely been enjoying the warmer weather and playing outside every afternoon. It has been great!!

Like the new look?

I think I finally finished the update! I figured since we are raising to rough and tumble boys I really needed to drop the pink color, then I found all this fun new stuff to add. Like the visitor counter, the slide show and music playlist at the bottom and the current events.
Fun stuff!
Hope you like the new look!

Interesting article

There is an article today in The Moscow Times, called The Politics of Adoption (click to read). Most of us in the Russian adoption world have heard all the stories and read the articles of adoptions gone bad, parents losing control and hurting, even killing their newly adopted children. While these cases are such a minority in numbers, they have created a backlash in Russian adoption over the past several years, regions closing, new rules, psych and 8 doctor medical evaluations for potential parents, push to ban independent (non agency adoptions in Russia). Obviously this is completely understandable, there should be as many safeguards as possible in place. But what always bothered me was the twist put on these cases by the Russian media. Adoptive parents in the US were made out to be monsters, people who only wanted adopt the children to hurt or kill them, there were articles that children were being adopted so their organs could be harvested! Americans were the evil doers that must be stopped!
Never in these articles did it mention how many children were languishing in Russian orphanages, how many parents had their parental rights stripped, how many children in Russia were harmed or killed by foster parents, adoptive parents or while in an orpahange, there was never any comparison.
This was the first article that actually states some of the facts, statistics and comparisons, so it was actually nice to read. I give the author a great deal of credit for writing this article. For once Americans were not monsters.

One child's death is one too many in my book. So much more needs to be done on educating parents during their homestudy process, throughout their adoption and once home. pre-adoptive parents need to know that it isn't always sunshine and roses, yes in many cases it can be, but it is good to read about the other side as well. Though as much as we read and educate ourselves, we just will never know how will would react in a given situation.
And while education is a big piece, I believe that more importantly parents need to have it instilled in them that it is OK to ask for help, it is ok to acknowledge that they are drowning. This does not make them bad people or bad parents. I think all parents should be given a list of phone numbers of people they can contact in an emergency situation. It would be great if there was a hotline or something like that. Maybe agencies and social workers should follow-up more frequently once the family is home, know the right questions to ask, encourage the parents to talk openly.
I think the more these issues are talked about openly and honestly, the less taboo it becomes and the less people will feel like failures if they ask for help.
I know the knee jerk reaction is to think how horrible these adults are (which well may be the case), but It is easy to see how alot of these situations occur. You work and wait long and hard to build your family, all the while having this vision and dream in your head of what your family will look like, all the great things you will do with your child, how perfect it will all be. Then all of a sudden there is this reality, nothing like you have ever thought about or picture, like a bad nightmare, a raging angry child, who won't sleep, wants no part of you, is injuring themselves or maybe others in your house. How can a parent not get overwhelmed or feel like they may lose control? We read and researched and I have always felt prepared, but truthfully I don't know how I would have dealt with any extraordinary situation. I consider ourselves extremely lucky and blessed that all of our issues thus far have been minor.
Hopefully things will change with agencies and professionals and hopefully soon we will see less and less of heartbreaking stories.

Ok so I am rambling now, that means time to end this post!

How they change

I love looking back and watching how much they grow! April 2005 was our first Easter as a family. It just amazes me to see our little baby turn into a little man. And the difference in a year with Maks is really cool. He doesn't have that baby face anymore!! They are just so stinkin cute, I can't help but smile!

Spring portraits

It is that time of year again for our spring/Easter portraits, wait Easter? Wasn't yesterday St. Patrick's Day? So weird, how early Easter is this year!

I got myself all geared up for our picture session, ready to herd the cats as usual. I have to say it was too bad. Despite Maks' reluctance at first, they were both pretty cooperative and we got quite a few good poses.

I chose some favorites but may have to go back and check out the other pictures as the boys were definitely getting antsy at this point.

We also stopped to see the Easter Bunny, as expected Maks wanted no parts, he was not digging the fluffy fellow. Alek walked right up and sat next to him and started chatting away, telling him what he wanted for Easter. I had to explain it is not like Santa.

It was a fun day and the boys looked very handsome in their outfits!

Party Pics

Can't believe it has taken me this long to get some party pics on here! Alek's jungle birthday party was a success. He had a blast. The kids seemed to enjoy the little safari they went on (they had to find all the animals on their safari passport checklist). Next up was the lizard and snake hunt, they loved that they could keep what they found.

We had a pin the nose on the elephant game (thanks to C as I have no artistic talent what so ever!)

And then the Zebra pinata, where there were some technical issues as its hook broke with the firt smack, so the poor thing was strung up by the neck to finish off the game. As usual the kids love the scramble for candy!

Alek was so happy to continue the day by having Jakey stay over.

It was a fun time despite the crazy weather outside. Still can't believe my baby is 4!

What were they thinking?

Yesterday I was on my way home from the movies, was in a great mood after a wonderful weekend with Alek's party and being able to sneak out for a movie. As I am driving I pull up next to an old pick-up truck, I look over and see 4 people in the front seat with a woman holding a baby who appeared to be abot 7-8 months on her lap. Unrestrained, bouncing around about one foot from the windshield, my mouth dropped. the adults were all chit chatting and laughing. I glared at the man until the light turned. I followed behind, I wasn't sure what to do, all I kept thinking is if they hit the breaks even a little hard that child is thru the window, it made me sick.
So I called 911, since it is a law in PA for children under 4 to be in safety seats. I told them where we were, where the truck was headed and its license number. She asked if I wanted to continue to follow them, I really didn't as I wanted to get home to my kiddos and it was stressing me out too much, but I gave them my number, she said she was alerting the police in the 2 townships we were near. That made me feel better, but I still feel guilty, like I should have followed just in case there was an accident, I am a nurse, I should have helped more.

I just don't understand how people would think that is ok or not care enough about their baby to want to keep them protected. How do they not know better?
Extra hugs and kisses were given to Alek and Maks when I got home, it just made me so sad.

The Stats

Alek had his 4 yr old well visit and is doing great-we haven't been to the docs for him since 3 yr old, he is definitely healthy as a horse. He got two shots, tetanus and the last of his polio, we discussed what he will need before kindergarten (yikes--are we already discussing that?!?!?), because she knows I like to spread out the vaccines, so we set our plan for that. Alek was a trooper, he flinched with the shots but didn't cry, was very excited over the stickers.

The big excitement is he finally is over 35 pounds-he was 36 pounds and 42.3 inches tall! Last year he was 32.3 pounds and 39 inches. Still our long string bean. Maks at 2 1/2 is 33 pounds!

He has been talking about his party all week, he loves being the birthday boy, I am sure it will be a blast!

We had our little family party for him on his birthday night, he was so excited, he loved all his new toys, especially the fighter jet plane from Daddy, though I think Daddy was playing with it more than Alek that night. Maks was definitely a little jealous, he wanted all the toys to himself, but he got over that once the ice cream cake came out! It was a fun night, still can't believe he is 4 and we are staring down the door of kindergarten!!

Happy Birthday Aleksandr!

Happy Birthday to our little man-we cannot believe he is 4!! He is growing up so fast, I can't figure out how to make it stop!!
He is so into his birthday this year, he has been talking about it so much.
Today he woke up and came into my room with a big smile on his face, and we sang Happy Birthday, he was so excited.
He talked to daddy on the phone at work and got so excited he started singing Happy Birthday to Kevin, it was funny.
Alek got to bring cupcakes to school today and have a pizza lunch. I just called and spoke with him, he can me the whole re-cap and was also told he was doing a birthday dance earlier for everyone.

We will have our little family celebration tonight, he asked for pasta for dinner tonight and a rocket ship (just like Jakey's) from daddy.
His party is Saturday and he has requested a jungle party, which I am trying to put together as uncrafty as I am in. Thank God I can order most things and thank God for Cynthia for making an elephant game for me!!
So happy birthday to my baby boy, what joy and happiness he has brought to us these part 4 years!!

I attached a cute video of him at 12 months, it is still hard to believe how small he once was!!

Successful

We found out this week that the search for Alek's birthfamily was successful as well, which was a big relief. To top it off we also received pictures of his birthmother, paternal grandmother and one of his siblings along with the house they live in and alot of pictures of Kirov.
She also would like continued contact, which we are happy about.

These searches have brought up alot of feelings and emotions for me, especially with some of the information they have provided. But I am so glad we did it and have this for our kids. To give them this connection to their past and birthfamilies is priceless for us. Of course there were always be the questions and concerns of what we share and when and how much is really necessary for them to know, it is alot to think about and right now I am not ready for that since it is all so fresh.

I do like being able to add info and now pictures to the parts in the LifeBook about birthfamily, those pages which I always thought would remain blank now are filled. I like that both birthmoms want contact and I am happy to provide that. I like that both boys could possibly have contact with their bio sibs if they want (we found out Alek's are learning english in school!), so I envision pen pals in the future? There is still so much to think about and process. As much as some things are hard to hear, I am forever grateful to these two women, because without them my family as I know it doesn't exist. These reports opened my eyes and my heart alot more and I am truly thankful for it.

Fun in the snow

Not much of winter here, I don't think we have had any measurable snow yet!! So I took the boys up to the Poconos to Jimmy and LaLa's cabin to find some snow, thankfully it was still there! The boys had a great time sledding. Alek has no fear and loved going fast. He also got his first sledding injury thanks to mommy, as I was trying to slow him down, my ring caught the outside of his lip and he also bit the inside, so lots of blood, but I think he enjoyed the fact I was letting him eat the snow to stop the bleeding! He was a tough guy though, got right back out there.

I was worried Maks would be afraid of sledding. He did great though, big smile as he rode down with me. Of course though he was his happiest hanging at the bottom of the hill where all the snacks were. He loved it when LaLa gave him his own bag of doritos-life was good.

It was a fun day for sure and Alek keeps asking to go back.

We are due for some snow tomorrow and of course some wintry mix in there, so who knows what we will end up with, I do hope enough is there to pull out the sleds for the kiddos tomorrow~

My political gripe

I have to take a minute to complain about politics and elections. I vote, always have since I turned 18, I believe it is important.
But I have to say I am finally annoyed with it all for several reasons.

1.) The campaigning lasts way too long, it is utterly ridiculous for it start over a year before the elections.

2.) The money that goes into these campaigns. You have all these wealthy people, up there talking about the middle class, the poor, campaign finance reform and at the same time have "war chests" in the millions. Why can't that money go to a program that is getting cut in a budget, or help feed and cloth those in need, or help pay medical bills for those struggling? It just seems so hypocritical to me to listen to their speeches about low income struggles and health insurance for all while they are sitting on millions.
It also bugs me outright that my party emails me weekly asking for money. I refuse to give money to politicians and even though I have expressed this, it doesn't stop the pleading for more money.

3.) They all have campaign promises but rarely do you hear how they will get it done or any specifics of their plans.

4.) many times you don't even know exactly what they stand for or what they have voted for or fought for in the past (yes you can find it out, but it takes alot of research).

5.) The ads on TV, they make my blood boil. I cannot stand how they twist facts on their opponents (they are all guilty of it), the negative ads, the trash talking drives me nuts!!

So what I propose:
1.) You can only "campaign" six months before the first primary. And my idea of campaigning is this:
There is one general website for the election and within it:
Each person has their own website which they pay for. On this website, they lay out exactly what they stand for in all areas (taxes, war/terrorism, abortion, education, health insurance, environment, etc..) and linked with these are their voting records in these areas.
They also have to lay out any and all groups they are associated with (political, social, etc..).
They have to state what they plan to accomplish while in office and exactly how they plan to do this.

There will be an oversight group who will monitor these sites for inaccuracies, lies, or distortions.
There can be no negative information regarding their opponents.

In regards to TV ads, only one ad per politician per state and it can only air one-two times a day and it cannot be a negative one. Facts need to be stated only.

For those without internet, everytthing that is on those websites will be available in paper copies, free to all registered voters.

Politicans cannot raise more than 500K, nor can they use their own money. Since there is less actual campaigning there is no need for all that cash.

Debates can and should continue.

So that is my proposal, I am pretty sure no one in politics will listen, but a girl can dream, can't she?

Our little kitty cat

Maks makes the cutest cat noise, it cracks us up. He has done great lately with all his animal noises so he is really making progress.
Here is a little clip.

Searching

When we decided on international adoption we knew we would have limited info on our children's birthfamily and most likely no contact at all. I know the limited contact can be an appealing reason for choosing an international adoption, it wasn't one of our reasons, but I can't say that it took an extra piece of stress away knowing that we would probably never have to deal with fear of birthfamily changing their mind. And in truth, after working so long and hard to have a family, it would make us feel better if we didn't have to "share" our children with anyone and that we would be the parents.
But I always knew it would be important for our kids to know and learn what they could of their birthfamilies and fo them to know that we were always grateful to their birthmothers for giving them life so we would have the opportunity to help them live it.
We always planned to be as open and honest as possible with our kids about their adoptions, their culture and their stories, though I still do not believe that they need to know everything and I feel that if there is something I can protect them from I will.

So with all this in mind we started a search for both families in each region. We have been using the services of a wonderful group and a wonderful woman, Mary.
We found out that Maks' birthmother was easily located and very agreeable to a phone interview, we were so excited and nervous! I can say it was relief to hear that she was happy to hear from us and that she was willing to answer questions for us. I was however worried about what we would find out. Maks' birth history was a bit complicated and the info we were given in court made it a little hard not to form an opinion of her and even if my thoughts or feelings of her were not that great, Maks would never know that. So now I worried what if we found out alot more bad stuff, how do you know what to share with your child and when to share it. How do you what is too much, what would be beneficial to them or what would be detrimental. So many questions and I am not sure there is a right answer to any of it.
But we forged ahead and compiled a few questions for the searcher to ask of her. This week we received the transcript of the telephone call. It was very surreal, I felt as I was reading her responses that I could actually hear her speak and while we have no picture of her yet, I was building one in my mind. My heart was filled with compassion for her and all she had been through, I felt like I could tell she was filled with love and compassion herself and I loved how she described Maks' two bio siblings who are with her. It was a picture into their lives and one that is so valuable to us and to Maks. Best of all she would like to continue contact and asked many questions of us as well. We are very excited at this prospect to have continued contact with her and truly hope for all involved it will continue.

I remember when Alek and Maks first came home and I would be rocking them and feeding them their nighttime bottles, I used to think about their birthmothers. What she was doing, was she thinking about him, I remember I used to try to send out signals to the universe so she would know he was well and was safe, because I couldn't even try to comprehend what it might be like to give birth to a child and then not know where that child was in the world and how they were doing.
I have to say I always did hope she cared, not that I wanted her to suffer in that, but it was a better picture then what was in my head of some of the women I had dealt with during my time in labor and delivery and nursing.

So now we axniously await word on Alek's search. I am trying to remain hopeful, but now I am also filled with additional worries, like what if they can't find her or some family, what if we have all this info and contact for Maks and not for Alek, how do we deal with that?
But I guess no matter what the outcome, the boys will know we tried our best to find out what we could for them and they will always know how much they are loved and how much we are so thankful for them coming into our lives.