Looking back

Ok, now that we are home and settled in, I feel I can take a different look back at the trip. It is funny how different it is the second time around, your emotions, expectations and thoughts are very different. We were excited to meet Maks, but not excited about the trip, the travel and all that goes with it. To us it was a means to an end, getting our son home. My stress level was very high, especially leaving Alek. I did melt alot once Maks was in my arms. Kevin said though the first time he held Maks he was thinking about Alek and how all we do and are going to do, affects him. By the second day though, it was alot easier and we could relax and play.
Adding to the stress though, was the fact that Maks was sick with a cold. So we could have the full time we expected with him. Then hearing he was in the hospital, really hit hard. It was all I could do to not lose it in the hotel lobby. And then we had to drive off and go to the notary, when I really just wanted to climb in bed and cry. It was tough knowing he was lying in a hospital bed and there was absolutely nothing I could do, it killed me not only as a mom but as a nurse. You truly feel like your hands are tied!
Even today as we wait for news, I feel like I am holding my breath.

So looking back, it wasn't as bad as it all seemed like at the time. I read my posts and think, geez I really sounded stressed. But now, was it really that bad? I guess it is like labor pains, you forget quickly and that is what makes you able to want to have another child!
Well time to unpack and do some wash and take a nap!!

The pics at the top are my hand in hand pics with my boys. The first is Alek and the second is Maks. Can't wait to have them both here today holding my hands!!