Jam Packed Summer Fun!

I can't believe it has been a month since I last sat down to write. We have jammed alot into the summer already with more fun still to come.

The kids and I took a fun road trip with Jen and her girls out to see our good friend MK in Ohio,

We rented a minivan and were on our way, sadly, my DVD player died an hour into the trip.

We drove half way and stayed over and made the rest of the journey the next day.

Frequently heard on our drive by Maks: "How long is this gonna take, I hate this car, are we almost there, I hate this car, I want to be at hotel, I hate this car."

It made for an interesting 8 hr drive!

We had a blast in Ohio, visiting MK and her two youngest, and meeting her new grandson. Wow, so hard to believe i have a friend who is a grandma! We played at the pool, cooked out, jammed in the garage, with Mike's instruments-the kids thought that was super cool. Maks is definitely going to be a drummer. We saw Toy Story 3 and I bawled at the end. What a great movie!

We wrapped up our visit by going to the Toledo Zoo. It was a blast, what a really nice zoo.

The biggest hit for my boys: the elephant taking a big dump right in front of us. All the boys in the crowd were impressed with that. Maks stated: the poop is as big as Alek's head. Nice!

It was so great just hanging out with Jen and MK, sometimes it seems like just yesterday we were all working at Buster Brown with MK as our boss! Amazing how fast 24 yrs goes!

Next up was an overnight trip to Knoebels Amusement Park. It is a great old fashioned park in central PA. You still buy tickets per ride, and it is so reasonable. It also has a campground, but definitely not for me as long as I can help it. Thankfully we were going with Rach and Megs, and they are all about the hotel, just like me.

The kids had a blast at the park. Both wanted to go on a rollercoaster right away, probably not one of my brightest mom moments, but I agreed. Alek being as skinny as is, I had to hold him in the seat the whole time, so stressful! he kept asking when it would be over. Maks sats with Megs and had no expression whatso ever on his face the whole ride. When asked if he liked it, he said yes, when asked if he wanted to go again, he said, no way. He avoided any thrill ride the rest of the day.
The pool at the park was a big hit, Alek loved the water slide with Megs, Maks just wanted to go off the diving board. Maks was thrilled to be going off the board and Alek ran right over to the high dive and jumped. Gave me a heart attack, but he loved it.

It was a great time and we look forward to a return trip in August with Alek's buddy and his family, though I am sad to report, it appears I will have to camp for the night. But the good news is, apparently there is electric hook up, so I will being my fan and an air mattress!

July 4th weekend was spent at the beach at Pop and Noni's. It was alot of fun as always. Weather was great, lots of fun in the sand and in the water. The street celebrated saturday night, so we all had campfires and we sat in between two groups duking out with their fireworks. Alek said the guys on the left of us won, I have to agree. Nothing like sitting on the beach with a campfire, watching the sunset, having some beers and eating smores. The kids entertained us with their dancing and antics. Another great holiday weekend!

In between all of this, we have been going to the pool. Both boys passed their tests and are allowed on the water slide. Maks finally was coaxed into taking it and he passed easily. Now he loves to hit the water slide and diving board. They are both little fish.

We've enjoyed cookouts and get togethers with friends and look forward to more as the summer winds down.

We took our vacation week at Pop and Noni's house while they are away. The first weekend started out disgustingly hot, pretty much not wanting to stay outside for too long. The M's came down for the weekend and we had a good time despite the nasty heat. We enjoyed a great dinner in Lewes at the marina and did a little shopping at the outlets.

Monday brought gorgeous weather all week. We were able to turn off the air and enjoy the breeze from the bay.

The water was perfect. We hit the boardwalk in Rehoboth and enjoyed a great dinner in Dewey.

We spent most of time lounging at the beach, playing in the water and eating great dinners.

Thursday we took the boys on a pirate cruise out of Lewes. It was a blast! What a great job this company did, I highly recommend it. As soon as you arrive, they give the kids eye patches and swords (plastic ones) and dress them up as pirates. Then they get a little face painting. Once all the pirates are ready, they have to take the pirate pledge.

The crew then leads the kids to the ship, the parents are mere spectators on this journey.

Once aboard they have their map to find the buried treasure. They use the map to spot things like crabs and mermaids which are posted all along the canal. Once out in the bay, they are "attacked" by a rogue pirate on a motorized raft with a big water gun. The kids can fight back with the water cannons on the sides of the ship. It was hysterical. Alek was totally into that part. Maks was none too happy getting sprayed, so he hung back and watched. Soon after they defeat the pirate, they find their bouy and bring up the treasure chest. Each pirate gets a goody bag full of fun stuff to bring home. On the way back in they are once again challenged to a battle by the pirate. After beating him once again, they wrap it all up with a limbo dance. Maks was voted best limbo by the one pirate so he received some extra gold coins. It was loads of fun and the boys are already begging to do this again!

After that we drove down to Delaware Seashore park for some fun in the ocean. The waves were a bit rough, but Alek was loving it. I forgot my whole beach bag so we were minus towels, but I improvised with the sweatshirts I had in the back of the car. We stayed there for a bit enjoying the ocean and then packed it up when the skies looked threatening. We drove down the coast a bit further through Bethany into Fenwick and had a great lunch on a marina at an Irish pub/raw bar.

It was definitely a great day and we were all beat by the time we arrived back at the beach house.

Friday and saturday were spent lounging around and enjoying the sun. SO hard to get back on track, we were all sleeping in every morning, including Maks who was sleeping past 8. Alek was in bed until 9:30 most mornings. Going to be hard to get back on track this week!

The boys and I are headed back to the beach this weekend with friends and we have some more adventures to look forward to including Camel Beach Water Park and Knoebels.

The summer is flying by as usual but we are packing in as much fun as we can!

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The Graduate

Well, this was surely the LONGEST school year ever, thanks to our extra spring break, err, strike, but it is finally over! What an amazing year it was for Alek and so special for us to watch how much he progressed.
Our worries and concerns for his kindergarten year were unwarranted. He did great and truly surprised us both.
Alek loved going to school each day and that was due to two wonderful teachers at LL and GS.
They embodied what kindergarten is all about, having fun while learning and fostering a love of learning and school.
It is amazing to see how well he writes and reads now. I just love having him read me stories at night now. We received his kid writing journal from the year and it was just wild to see the few words from September to mini stories in May. Such little sponges they are!

He had his graduation ceremony at LL on June 17th. Pop, Granny, LaLa, Krissy, and Megs were able to join us and he was so excited to see his fan club! The tears welled up in my eyes as Pomp and Circumstance began to play and these sweet little angels paraded in wearing their white caps and gowns. SO hard to believe he started at LL when he was 15 months old!
It was a sweet ceremony and I tried very hard not to completely break down. My sweet baby is growing too fast, I just feel like I will blink and he will be graduating high school!
The ceremony was followed up with a pizza lunch and desserts. It was a great time. Maks was cracking us up as usual, shoveling in the desserts, using the coat racks like monkey bars. As we were all walking to our cars, Maks was headed to the playground with his class and we heard him tell his teacher, "hey, there are my people". He is a piece of work!!

Afterwards, Kevin, Megs and I headed to Alek's other school for the letter parade which is the kindergarten's rite of passage. Alek was assigned the letter E and we had to come up with a sentence and "costume" to match. So, it went like this: Eddie the elephant was eating enormous eggs with an excellent Eagle while an educate eel evaluated his eight eggplants.
I have to say, I was very proud of Alek and I and our props. This was a big deal for a non creative mom like myself!
Half the school came to watch (as the other half went to the morning kindergarten's class). The kids all did so well and then we got an extra treat of a couple songs at the end. It was so cute! I loved it and it was really neat to see the 6th graders cheering on the little ones.
What a great morning it was for us. We were so proud of Alek!!

That evening Alek and I headed over to see "Maks favorite cousin" Kait graduate high school!
Alek borrowed his cap and gown, so he could get some pics with Kait in hers. They turned out great, very extra special they shared this graduation day!
Alek went to the ceremony with me, what a beautiful night. So happy and proud of Kait and we know she will do so well as she continues her education at PSU!!

Congrats to our special grads!! What a great day it was!
Now, bring on the summer fun......

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The Best Dad Ever

Happy Father's Day!!!

You are the best dad ever!

Alek says: Thanks for throwing me lots of pop-ups and playing baseball with me and for my baseball cards.

Maks says: Thanks for wrestling with me and chasing me, I tackle you Dad!!

Even though we are not with you today, we love you very much and miss you very much!!

We hope you are enjoying your weekend and we can't wait to see you Tuesday!!

Love you!!!!

Kickin and hitting it into the holiday

Spring sports were in high gear and we were a busy sporting family! Soccer, baseball and hockey filled our weeks and weekends.

Maks wrapped up his 1st intramural season of soccer. He had a lot of fun and can't wait for fall season to start.

On the last day they played a couple mini games which is so comical. tackle soccer for 4 yr olds!

Maks would get so mad if someone took the ball away from him. He did score a couple goals, so he was extremely impressed with himself.

Best if all, they gave medals to the kids. Maks finally had a soccer medal just like his brother. He was stoked! He wore that medal for days, even to school. He slept with it as well.

Maks loves his soccer. He is still asking me for tennis and I am having a hard time finding something for his age. The search continues.

Baseball continues for Alek. It has been really cool watching how much the team has improved and how much they are really learning the ins and outs of the game.

After Alek went to the Phillies games and got his baseball cards, something in him changed. He got superfocused on baseball. He loves to practice, always wants daddy to throw him pops up and practice catching and hitting. He loves it. He watches games on TV more and wants to play 1st base like Ryan Howard. It is a blast to watch this unfold.

His play has improved so much and he seems to get a hit each time at bat now. He is really proud of himself and we love seeing how much fun he is having.

His first hockey lessons wrapped up and he was promoted to hockey 2. So we have a 3 week break, thank God and then he starts the next level of lessons. Seems like he will be in his first actual league come the fall. Oh boy, I am surely not ready for this. Hockey mom, baseball mom, soccer mom. A mom of many hats!

We have been enjoying the Flyers suprise run in the Stanely Cup playoffs and are hoping for another miracle on ice!!

We made our first visit to the pool and Alek wanted so badly to go on the waterslide and diving boards, but first he had to pass his water test. He swam the full length of the pool to pass. He was thrilled and got his band to gain access to any part of the pool. He loved the water slide and was a little too daring on the diving boards for me. Maks has informed me he will pass his test when he turns 5. He loves hanging in the middle sized pool and jumping in.
We are looking forward to lots of fun at the pool this summer.

Memorial Day rolled around and we headed to JoJo's for the annual parade, races and picnic.

This was the first Memorial Day without PopPop, we know how much he enjoyed this day, especially the parade.

So his special chair was set on the hill with his hat and flag. We knew he was there watching!

The parade was great and the kids had a blast with each candy scramble. It was fun watching them watch the parade, dancing to music, waving and saluting the veterans.
Next it was time to head up to the field for more fun. Alek was pumped for the running races.
Maks ran this year. It was pretty funny. LaLa and I were standing at the end, telling him to run straight towards us. As he was running he kept looking at other kids and realized he was not heading directly towards us which was fine, but he hooked a sharp left to run to us and he he still won! He really didn't understand it all, which is what made it so funny. He was extra thrilled with his prize of Buzz Lightyear and the little dog from ToyStory.
Next up was Alek, who is ultracompetitive. He wanted to win so much, we just kept reminding him it was fun and just have fun and do your best. He came in 3rd, they only give prizes for 1st and 2nd, he was so sad. Sometimes I wish he wasnt so competitive, I hate seeing him bummed.
But Maks being the sweet brother he is, gave Alek Buzz to play with and all was well.
Next up was the bouncy slide and maze, they had a blast. It was topped off by getting soaked by the firehoses which felt great on such a hot day.
Back to JoJo's for more fun and great food! Dinner was fabulous as always and we enjoyed celebrating Jakey's birthday.
It was another fun holiday and our unofficial start of summer. Sadly due to our past teacher's strike, Alek will be in school until 6/29. But we are looking forward to lots of summer fun at the pool and the beach!









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Mother's Day

Me and my little men, Mother's Day 2010!

Me and my mommy

Celebrated with yearly family gathering at our house. Beautiful day, wonderful handmade cards from the boys, little flower pots handpainted with the mystery seeds inside and a beautiful new rose bush for my present.

Slept in, snugged and watched cartoons with my boys.

Fabulous Mother's Day, I am so lucky!

My first..Aleksandr

Continuing my tribute to the special little men who made me a mom....

Aleksandr, Alek, Bud, Pal, Big Guy, Little man, My Smush, CutiePatootie (although apparently only TT can call him this now), and LoveBug.

Alek, our first, the little drooly faced, bald headed, bright eyed wonder who made my dreams of motherhood come true.
It was a rollercoaster ride for us filled with crashing lows and an amazing high the moment he was placed in my arms. What a fascinating little creature. Only 5 months old, he came by car, 2 hours away to meet us in Kirov. He was brought into a room filled with anxiously awaiting parents all holding their breaths as children and caretakers came through the door. We heard the name Gubin, Gubin--oh, that was us, that was our little boy! Here we were half a world away from home and meeting our child for the first time. It is so hard to put that feeling into words. It was very surreal. I remember the feelings of caution and wanting to evaluate him as a nurse went right out the window. One look into those bright blue eyes, we were hooked. I remember him staring back at us with this quizical look and a hint of a smile and then the cries and tears came. I guess he realized he was scared, tired and hungry. His cries started an outbreak in the room. Alek received his bottle and promptly fell asleep in my arms. My first time feeding my child and getting him to sleep. It was the greatest feeling in the world.

What a brave little man he was. I can only imagine the confusion of his life those couple weeks. Long car rides for him to Kirov, people talking to him in a funny language. Being handed over in the dead of night on a train from Kirov to Moscow. How scarey it must have been for him. Those first hours of just the 3 of us in our train compartment were amazing. It was like a dream for us, but his poor little body was so stressed from all the changes and then the long travel home. Alek amazed us at how quickly he just melted into our family. Alek was such a resilient little soul, who was poked and proded and scanned all to figure out a reason for his small head circumference, all the while seeming to tell us, just chill out people, I am fine. Watch me roll over, watch me crawl, watch me walk. I am good, no worries mom!

He amazed us each day. I loved him falling asleep on my chest with his butt up in the air and his little hand wrapped around my finger. I loved watching his eyes flicker in excitement over anything new. Soon it was like he had always been a part of our lives. We quickly forgot what life was like before him.

Alek has taught me so much. He was and still is always on the move. He is curious and insightful. He tests his boundaries and limits and his body and my nerves. He loves any physical activity. He loves sports. Baseball and hockey are his favorites. He picks things up quickly, he wants to be the first and the fastest. Just try slowing him down. He gets revved up and overstimulated easy which drives us insane, but he has quickly learned how to settle down and redeem himself. He loves music, especially dance parties with mommy and Maks and rocking out with daddy in the car.

Alek loves to learn, he is fascinated by anything new. He is always asking questions. He is a sponge. Alek loves to read. It blows my mind that he is reading to me now. He loves to write, but struggles with wanting it to be perfect. He does not like to make mistakes.
He loves exploring the creek, the woods, digging in the dirt for critters to take care of and save. He loves the beach. He can spend hours looking for perfect rocks and shells. Alek loves to swim, ride his scooter, swing higher and faster then Maks and then jump off the swing making my heart skip a beat.
He has such a great heart, he is a good friend, his teachers say he always helps others and includes everyone in his play.

He is an amazing big brother. I am convinced he the reason Maks' transition was easier then we thought it would be. Though he plays the typical big bro with teasing and fighting, you can tell how much he loves his little brother and he would do anything for him.

Alek melts my heart with his phrases, "Mommy, you're my sweetie, Mom you are beautiful, You are my gal, You are the best mommy in the world, I love my family, mom-You are the cutiePatootie".
I am so proud to be his mom. Such an amazing soul who keeps our lives filled with happiness and laughter. It is a priviledge to watch him grow. Alek was the answer to our prayers for a child, our little dream come true.

My Maks

In honor of Mother's Day I want to pay tribute to these amazing little creatures who have made me a mama.

Maks-Joseph, Maks, Maky, Makadoo, Makadoodle, Makaroni, our Mak-attack..

This kid is amazing. I admire him so much. I think of that first visit in Murmansk, when he was pale, sick, and scared, yet him let us hold him, he started to open himself up to us. What a brave little man. What a brave and amazing little soul, who left all he ever knew (not by choice) and travel thousands of miles away to a new home with people who were complete strangers. Despite having to spend a week in the hosptial with a woman who he barely knew, he was brave and he fought and he allowed himself to be loved and to eventually love us. It still amazes me how resilient he was and still is. It brings tears to my eyes when I put myself in his shoes and imagine all he was feeling and how scarey it must have all been for him. While he clung to Kevin quickly, he took his time with me. It was hard for me, who was used to being the mama bear to Alek and Alek always running to me first. I love having mama's boys. I look back during Maks' first surgical procedure when post op he wanted no parts of me, I tried all my tricks to soothe him, but he only settled once he was in daddy's arms. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, in recovery after surgery, he only wanted mommy and settled in my arms. I made it all better. I am mom.

I love his resilence, his fight, his stubborness, his curiosity, his laugh, his giggle and his smile. His face will light up your day, his glare will leave you shaking. His laugh is contagious and his smile wil melt your heart. In seconds he can have you laughing only to have tp send him to time-out. He knows how to push all your buttons, yet can wrap you around his little finger.

He had the greatest, raspiest, deep voice and now he has this high pitched voice, it just sounds so foreign and silly to me. I miss his voice.

I love how everyday he says, Mom, you're my best. He loves high fives, fist pump fireworks, hugs and kisses. He always says, Mom, can I kiss your cheek?

He loves riding his bike and his scooter. He loves puzzles and legos and Matchbox cars. He loves superheros and monsters. He loves swinging as high as he can and rolling down grassy hills. He loves digging in the dirt, finding worms and bugs and feeding them to the fish.

He loves the beach, the water, the sand. He loves his family and his friends. He loves life.

Maks is an amazing little man, who I am so blessed and grateful to have call me mommy.

Snakes and snails and.....

And so the rhyme goes. Boys will be boys. I love it, I love being a mom to 2 wild, crazy, dirty, happy, fun, and sweet boys. This is a nice surprise to me. While as a child, I was a tomboy, I loved sports and could hang with the boys. But As I grew, I found myself enjoying the more "girlie" things in life, shoes, clothes, going to the theatre, being pampered at the spa. So, I always envisioned myself having girls, we would get pedicures together, they would share my love of shoes, we would do theatre trips to NYC, but yet still take in the baseball or hockey game. I always wanted 2 girls and a boy, that was my dream for myself. Then a couple fortune tellers told me, no you will have 2 boys and a girl. Ok, that was good, still would have my girl.
But, life always has other plans for you.

Here I am, the lone female in a house of boys. It is loud and messy and that is just with the oldest! Add in the smells, the bugs, trucks and matchbox cars I step on all the time, the burps and farts and poopy talk and you have entered my world.
Surprisingly I find myself loving it. I even let them show me bugs as long as they dont get too close or drop one on me. I love watching them dig in the dirt and sand. I have stopped cringing when they discover new ways of hanging off the monkey bars or hurling themselves down slides or off swings. Their knees are scraped, their shins are bruised, their faces are dirty and dont even get me started on what is happening under their fingernails, but I love it. Life is so entertaining with boys. They crack me up and never cease to amaze me with the new adventures they come up with.
This boy thing has its advantages too. They are my official stink bug hunters. I dont have to touch those bugs, I hand them a paper towel and they take care of things. Same thing with spiders and other little uninvited guests in my house.
They are strong, so pretty soon they can do alot of heavy lifting for me, like laundry! Alek has really strong hands, so I am training him to give mommy shoulder massages. Maks, well he shares my love of shoes, so shopping with him is fun! Alek loves plays and musicals. They both love listening to music and we have our little pre-bed dance parties.
My life did not turn out like I had envisioned it, but I cannot imagine it any other way. I love the noise, the mess, the smells and all the giggles that come with raising little boys!

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Super trooper

Well it was finally time to say good bye to Maks' tonsils and adenoids. Goodbye to snoring and apnea and hello to better sleeping!

We prepared Maks using CHOP's kids galaxy website. It is an awesome little site filled with information and games. It really helps kids learn what to expect. He loved all the little games. Alek and Maks both had a great time with the card concentration game.

The day before surgery was my birthday. The boys had spent saturday night at Grammom and Poppy's. I picked them up Sunday morning and we headed to MeMe's for a visit. We headed back to our house and enjoyed a nice lazy day. I headed to the store to stock up on favorites for Maks post op.

We had a nice early dinner and some yummy cake! They had given me my birthday present on Saturday-a new camera! I love it, it is exactly what I wanted and the high shutter speed is perfect for baseball games and hockey.

I was sitting with Alek and thanked him for making my birthday special. He said thank you for making my life beautiful mommy. Maks followed up with his daily, Your my best mom.

That was definitely the best birthday present ever!

So we headed to bed, I said some extra prayers for a safe and smooth day for Maks.

We woke up the next morning and Maks and I dropped Alek at LL. Maks got extra hugs and good luck wishes from his teacher and we headed off to the surgery center. I was telling Maks of all the goodies I had for him after surgery, especially his favorite chocolate pudding. He was excited about that!

Daddy met us there just as we were getting situated in the room. He loved his new bright yellow slipper socks and was extra happy when he heard he would get to bring them home! After getting his measurements (ht 41 inches, wt 40 pounds), he got to pick out a movie. He picked Dinosaur, which was the same one Alek picked a few months back when he was in for adenoids. Personally I think it is intense for a Disney movie, but I figured he would be getting the giggle juice soon enough and hopefully wouldn't remember.

I really wish they would hook the parents up with a shot or two of the juice. It is pretty stressful letting go of your little one and heading into the waiting room. Mommy needed help with the separation. Maks was definitely loopy as they headed down the hall, we waived and he said, Bye! Are you going home mom? Everyone laughed and we said no we would be right there waiting for him.

We took our spots in the waiting area and had some food and coffee. The nurse came out to go over with us what to expect and also discuss post op care.

Pretty soon, the anesthesiologist came out to let us know Maks was in recovery and he did well. Such a relief to hear those words! The surgeon came out to tell us Maks did great. He said his tonsils and adenoids were huge and he also found 2 small polyps on his vocal cords which goes along with the hoarseness. He said they usually dont touch them surgically in children, but that speech therapy will need to work on his volume issues and better care of his vocal cords. Yea, that should be interesting! Maks definitely has volume issues, so it will be interesting to see who can get him to turn it down quickly!

We headed back to see him. He was waking up but very upset and restless. He had some blood in his nose and drool and mucous from his mouth. Around his eyes were red from the tape. He looked bad. He couldn't get comfortable, he was crying, trying to talk. He kept wanting to hug me. I thought back to when he was in for his circumcision, not long after coming home, at that time he wanted no parts of mommy holding him, he cried even more and only settled when daddy held him. Now all he wanted was me. While it broke my heart that he was so upset it did feel good to see how far we have come.
Maks tends to get focused on one thing, hyperfocused and will stay stuck on it until he feels it has been resolved. Well, he remembered me saying I had chocolate pudding for him. He wanted it and he wanted it NOW. He could not understand that there was no pudding there, I promised him and he was pissed. He kept asking for it and we had to slowly coax him into taking some water ice and a popcicle. He kept asking for that pudding though, any chance he could.

He finally did well enough to be discharged. Maks and I headed home and Daddy headed to the pharmacy to get his medications and some goodies. On the drive home, Maks asked for the pudding about 10 times. The nurse had told us that he probably wouldnt want to eat that day, but just to make sure he drank or took in fluids like water ice, etc..

We were no sooner in the door, he headed for the fridge and took out the pudding. He finally had his pudding. He was happy. He went on to eat 2 more cups of pudding, 3 jellos, 1 popcicle, 2 applesauces, 2 cookies, 2 yogurts, along with applejuice, water and some pink lemonade. And they said he wouldnt eat..Ha, they dont know our boy!

Maks continued to do well the remainder of the day. He ordered me around and I remained at his beck and call! I ran to pick Alek up and as soon as he saw me, he said, Mom is Maky ok? He said, he can play my DS if he wants, I know that will make him feel better. SO sweet!! Maks slept fairly well, better then I thought he would. He slept in our bed and Alek not wanting to be left out, camped out on our floor.

Day two has been a different story. Maks woke up crabby and definitely was alot more punky today. He was drinking but really didn't want to eat. He didn't want to do anything except lay on the couch and snug. Around lunch, he said he wanted some soup and chips. He had two bites and then I heard words I never thought I would hear from my son, "Mom, this is too much food for me". I almost fell over. But that was the extent of the day, a few bites here and there and just drinking some juice.

He musted up some energy to do Playdoh with Alek, but that didn't last too long. Hopefully he sleeps well tonight. We are keeping him medicated and trying to stay up on his pain. He is complaining occasionally of this throat hurting him, but otherwise he is a true Super Trooper. He is our little tough man and I am very proud of him for how brave he has been!

Nightmares

I was walking down this long hospital corridor, one of those hallways that seems to just keep getting longer. I could see the doctor at the end that I was supposed to meet, but no matter how fast I walked, I wasn't gaining any ground, I felt like I was walking through sludge.
Finally after what seemed like hours, I was standing in front of the doctor, waiting for the news.
My heart was pounding and as he said the words I felt like I was floating outside my body.
"I can only save one of them, you need to choose, You need to make a decision as soon as possible". What, what was he saying, I couldn't comprehend. I was looking all around me, where was Kevin, what was happening? The doctor said again, "You have to choose", which child will it be? All of sudden it all came crashing down on me, I had to choose which one of my children would live. I started to shake, I felt the bile rising up in my throat, I was crying and screaming, I can't do this, I can make that decision. Where was Kevin? What is happening? The doctor yelled at me, "YOU HAVE TO DECIDE NOW, we are running out of time!"
I stuttered, I was trying so hard to stay conscious, trying hard to comprehend. I opened my mouth to give my answer....
Then I woke up. I sat straight up in bed, heart pounding, gasping for breath, looking around me. I slowly began to focus and looked down at Alek sleeping peacefully. I jumped out of bed and ran to Maks' room, he was fast asleep, with his usually snoring and grunting going on. I leaned down and kissed his face and headed back to my room. I kissed Alek's head and just held his hand.
It took a long time for my heart to slow down. My mind was racing though. What did this dream mean, was it meant to be some sort of prediction. Why would my subconscious go there? Was I actually going to choose and if so, who was it--how could a mother make that decision.
Needless to say I had a very rough time getting back to sleep.
I have always had vivid dreams. nightmares, or nightterrors, but this dream still haunts me.

So back in reality, we have been busy as usual, baseball, hockey and soccer. Its a sports world here. Working hard to keep Maks healthy so his surgery goes on as scheduled next week. He was a super trooper with the blood work, such a brave little dude.
Alek's schedule has been altered this past week due to a teacher's strike. Thankfully due to the day care we are not scrambling to make arrangements, but he has been upset about not going to GS, he keeps asking when he will see his teacher Mrs. C again. He totally has a crush on her!
He had heard about the strike, so he has been asking questions. Its a hard concept to explain to a six year old, so I do my best to re-direct him to something else :o)

Tuesday, I walk into my office to a voicemail, "Mrs Harkins, this is Betsey, nurse practitioner, could you please call me to discuss Maks' bloodwork results". My stomach dropped and my heart sunk. My hand was shaking as I called her back. Maks' PT was prolonged. This is the test that shows how quickly your blood clots. Now, as a nurse, I know this test can have false results due to collection or lab error, but as a mom, I panicked. They wanted us to have it repeated that day. She said, if it remains elevated surgery will be cancelled and we will need to see hematology. My head was spinning as I called Kevin to explain what was going on.
I tried to remind myself that this most likely was a false positive, that he has absolutely no other symptoms of a coagulopathy, he was fine. But I still couldn't suppress that fear. The fear of everything falling apart, the fear of our perfect little life being turned upside down.
I have never been the person to ask, "why me", I usually ask, "why not me"?
I picked Maks up at school, he came out with those bright happy eyes, thanking me because he didn't have to take a nap. As I strapped him he, he said, I love you mom, your my best. This is something he says 5 times a day, but that moment it hit me hard. I jumped in the front seat with my eyes watering and turned on some fun music so he wouldn't see mommy upset.
He was a brave little solider again getting this blood work drawn. He was so focused on the treasure chest where he could pick out a prize, he barely noticed the draw. He left with some special treats, we stopped at the bakery and got cupcakes for us and Alek and then headed back to pick up Alek. Then we waited. I knew I wouldn't hear anything until the morning. I gave Maks extra hugs and kisses at bedtime and said some extra prayers and tried to get some sleep.
True to her word, the NP called first thing in the morning. The test was normal!!! Whew... I took a deep breath, called Kevin and said a prayer of thanks.
What a reminder at how quickly life can change and how much we take for granted. It is hard sometimes, loving this much.
Lots of extra hugs and kisses. My children are healthy, they are happy and they are both here with me.

Now, we just have to get through surgery on Monday....he is scheduled to arrive at 8:45am. They said it will take about an hour, more will depend on if they find anything with the laryngoscope. The wait will be awful. Wish they gave the moms the giggle juice too...

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The Sporting Life

Having two boys and a sports nut for a hubby, I always assumed my life would be one filled with sports and it is proving to be that way. These boys love to be active and in motion so any sport will do.

Soccer was our first adventure with Alek. He played several seasons and always seemed to enjoy it and was pretty good, but he no longer wants to play soccer, so we have moved on.
He says his favorite is baseball, so we started him with Tball last year which he loved. He has moved up to Jr Midgets this year which is a pitching machine. We have had a handful of practices and it is amazing to see the difference from last year. It is a blast to watch

Maks always wants to do whatever Alek is doing and unfortunately he winds up to young for certain leagues. But last fall him and I did a parent child soccer class which he enjoyed except when mommy had to tell him what to do. His answer was always, I can do it myself!
This year he is old enough for a pee wee league which just started this week. he loved it, did get frustrated at times because he wants to be perfect at it. So our challenge with him is two fold, Patience and learning not to talk when the coach is! He is pretty good at dribbling the ball and has a mean long kick and punt. He definitely likes having his own team outside of Alek.

Alek has been taking skating lessons since last fall and has progressed well. This week was test week and he passed Basic 2 so that means he moves into hockey tract! He has his gloves and and stick and is ready for his next adventure. Oh and he has the missing teeth to look the part!
It was weird this week for me, I think I got a glimpse into the future. Generally when he is playing something I dont get nervous for him, I just enjoy watching him, but I think knowing this was a test, I was so nervous for him, I had to walk away at one point! Whew, I am going to have to learn how to deal with this!!

Maks also took skating this session and depending on the week he seemed to enjoy it, that is, when he wasn't coming off the ice to pee! So he did great during test time, he looked like he was having a blast, he was so excited to come off the ice and tell us how well he did. he passed and is able to move to next group. We asked him if he wanted to sign up again and he said, "No, I want to play tennis!" Tennis, where did that come from? This kid keeps us on our toes!!

Now I have tried to make them well rounded with art and music. We even did piano lessons which I knew were done when they pulled all the keys off our keyboard. Thankfully I bought a cheap one. So for now, we will stick to sports.
I love their interest in trying new things, though I am not looking forward to the stress and worry it puts on me!

Unfathomable

For those involved with or touched by Russian adoptions, the past 24 hours have left many of us outraged, angered and shaking our heads in disbelief. How could a parent put their child on a plane alone and send them back to Russia? It is baffling to me.

When I first saw this story early this morning, I thought it must be a mistake. I didn't want to jump into judgement immediately, but the more I have read and saw, it is impossible not to.

I am sure there were alot of problems, this child had already been removed from one parent who had serious issues and spent a good deal of his life in a orphanage, an institution. There will be baggage, he is hurt child, who did not know how to be part of a family. It is up to the adoptive parents and the agencies, to prepare and educate and let parents know where they can get help and that it is ok to ask for it. You are not a failure.

Yes, it is known that records in Russia can be falsified, yes children have been known to be drugged so they appear peaceful and loving when meeting their prospective parents and yes, years of being institutionalized will affect a child deeply. But...this was no way to handle any issues she may have been having with her "son" (I am really having a hard time using the terms mother and son when it comes to this situation, because it is just to hard to wrap my brain around any "mother" doing this). Not to mention the fact this little boy has only been home a little over 6 months which as most of us know is truly not enough time.

Not every adoption will be perfect and it can be very hard for someone who has gone through the tedious and emotionally/financially draining process to admit that things are not what they had dreamed. But as a parent you have to fight and advocate for your child, find the help they need and you need, even if that means disruption. No one would be blaming this woman if she sought out help and said I can't do this, someone help me, help him, I may not be the right parent for this child and he deserves someone who can be that parent.

What really is baffling to me is the planning this took. Research for this russian attorney who advised them, research to find a man to meet this child in Russia, booking airfare, driving to DC? How much time was spent researching other options? A simple Google search could have led her to mutliple sites like FRUA, or Attachment Disorder, RADKid and many others. There are International Adoption Medicine clinics throughout the country she could have turned to. She could have looked for forums on Russian adoption and posted anonymously to other parents, asked questions, received guidance. There are so many parents out there who have been there and done that and they are always willing to share their knowledge and resources. There are people and groups who specialize in these situations and many families have had great success. it can be hard to get help in many states, but help is there and as a parent you should be the one fighting for your child.
You don't send a child back like they are a pair of shoes or broken electronics. Children do not come with guarentees. My heart breaks just thinking what must have been going through this little boys mind as he flew 10 hours alone and stepped off a plane in Russia to a stranger? This poor child's life has been damaged greatly by the actions of all the adults that have been in his short life, everyone has failed him. The other thing that has me worried is what does this teach the other boy that was involved, a cousin I believe, will he now live in fear of being sent away if he does something wrong? What is going through his little mind?

As angry as I am, my heart also breaks for Ms. Hansen, I am sure she didn't set out for this to be her goal and I can only imagine the devastation she must have felt when this was not what she had planned or dreamt about. But she made an extremely poor and inexcusable decision and one that has not only affected the life of this little boy, but has far reaching ramifications. Thousands of other prospective parents and children waiting in their orphanages for their forever families now may be waiting even longer while Russia determines whether to suspend adoptions to the US.
She and her mother need to be held accountable. If she had placed her biological child on an airplane to another state in the US with note stating she no longer wanted to parent this child, she would have been arrested already. To me, this is no different. He was legally her son, he was a US citizen. There should be no further research by the authorities, she needs to be charged with abandoning her child at the very least. The US government needs to be strong and clear in condeming her actions.
Agencies and prospective parents alike should be using this as a wake up call. Agencies need to do a much better job of educating, supporting and following their families. It shouldn't end once home. Post placement visits should be thorough and in the home, not over the phone, not at a neutral location. They should be providing parents with resources post adoption, where they can turn for help and that it is ok to ask for help, they will not get in trouble. They should be able to contact their agencies in an emergency and be able to receive help and guidance immediately.
Prospective parents need to educate themselves thoroughly before they even make that first trip to Russia. Russia also needs to remember that this is one person, while there are thousands of children thriving successfully with their families in the US.

So if you are a parent planning to adopt from Russia, do your research, talk to adoptive parents, use resources like IA clinics or FRUA. Learn all you can about parenting an adopted child, learn all you can about attachment and possible issues in children who have lived in institutions, just as you would if you were pregnant and expecting your first child.
If you are home and struggling, ASK for help, reach out to another parent, reach out to your agency, your pediatrician, go online, ask for referrals and resources, they are out there! There are people who can help.

So my thoughts and prayers go out to this little boy and I hope one day he finds a family that will love him and care for him no matter what and he will be able to experience the true meaning of a family is forever. My prayers also go out to Ms Hansen because I can only imagine the pain she is going through as well.

"Someday, maybe there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit." Erik Erikson

Eggs, evaluations,ENT, and Easter

Easter week was packed full of fun and necessities. First up was Maks' IEP to try to get him re-approved for speech. They had been leaning towards just monitoring him as he has shown a great deal of improvement, but unfortunately when he gets upset or excited, you cannot understand him at all. I have tried explaining this, and thankfully his therapist finally witnessed this first hand. Maks' teacher was at our meeting and it was wonderful to have another adovcate there for him. We were very happy when she approved him for another year and decided to change his schedule and see him in the afternoon when he is more prone to have issues. She will work with him while he is playing and with his friends. I think this is a great plan and we are very pleased.

Next up for Maky was his ENT appt. We have been following his one large tonsil for awhile now, while he doesn't get sick very much his sleeping has gotten worse. He snores alot more and has periods of apnea. Speech therapists were also concerned over the hoarseness of his voice and while this could be contributed to his volume issues they still wanted him checked for any polyps or other issues.

Last week while we were waiting for his appt, his other tonsil got huge and his apnea worsened. I took him to ped for a quick check and even though he had no other symptoms, they cultured his tonsils and I got a call a few days later it was positive for strep! He had no sx of being sick! So he went on an antibiotic. We finally got into ENT and after exam and review of all his records they definitely agreed it was time to take out the tonsils and adenoids which were also gigantic. They wanted to scope his vocal cords to take a peek but decided thankfully to wait until he is under to do it all at once. So we scheduled his surgery for 4/26. Delayed a little because he has to be off of fish oil for 2 weeks and needs to have blood work. While I dont like to see him undergo surgery I think this will make a huge difference for him.

Last week was also report card time. Alek received another good report--we are really proud of him. His reading is coming along so well, I get emotional listening to him read a book to me. It is all happening too fast!!

Baseball is going well, he seems to have adjusted to using the pitching machine. He really likes his team, and his coaches. It truly is amazing to see the progress made from last year, they look like real little ball players.

Maks start soccer this weekend, we are really looking forward to seeing him in action! I can already hear him yelling to his coach, "I can do it myself". He is such a pistol!

Thankfully after our long snowy winter we have been blessed with a gorgeous early spring, some days have had temps in the 80's. I love it! We headed to our annual Easter egg hunt at church. The boys were excited to see the Easter Bunny hopping around the crowd, no fear of him this year, well at least for the boys. Me, well, I still dont like the Easter Bunny, it is just wrong, big old Bunny, that looks funny and doesn't talk. Still wigs me out! The boys did great finding eggs and enjoyed the surprises that were inside. They had fun hanging with their friends as well. Later it was off to Joe and Reilly's house for their bday celebration. It was fun to hang out with the family and the kids had a blast playing with their cousins.

The day before Easter we decided to invite a few friends over and grill out. It was gorgeous weather. Not sure how it happened, but we wound up with a mini party--6 families and 16 kids!! It was crazy fun, I love it. The weather was perfect, Kevin slow cooked ribs all days, we had a wonderful feast and the kids all had a blast.

Easter morning we awoke to Maks standing in our room waiting to see what the Bunny had left. He had to wake us all up including Alek. So off we went downstairs to start the day a little earlier then we had planned. They had fun hunting for their eggs inside and outside. Lots of laughter and smiles with all their little prizes.

Granny and JoJo came up for dinner. It was another gorgeous day and we hung out back on the patio while the boys played. Jo and I enjoyed some fabulous champagne. Food was yummy and we all had a great time. It was a low key and wonderful holiday.
We missed sharing it with the rest of the gang but we know they were having a great time with Krissy down in the southern sunshine!

We are really enjoying this warm weather and loving the outside fun each day. The kids sleep like rocks now and actually so do I.

Loving spring!!