Spring, please?

Well, enough is enough of this white stuff!! Now that darn groundhog had to tell us 6 more weeks of winter? UUGGHH, spring time please hurry!!

The kids are enjoying the snow and the sledding, we are not enjoying the shoveling. Maybe one of these days we will get a snow blower!

Kevin has been very busy this past year re-doing our basement. Gone is the wood paneling and it has lightened up the room alot. We love it. His next project was the wall behind the bar. As usual he impressed me with his vision and the final outcome. He took beams from an old barn, treated them and placed them on the wall and in between placed the faux stone. It looks amazing.
We love it, the whole room looks amazing! Great job Kevin!!!

Another surprise by Kevin is he came home with a Wii. The kids were so psyched as was daddy. It is fun to be able to play games together. Though I have to say the test on the sports game that comes hasn't boosted my self esteem, apparently according to Wii, I am 79 years old. I mean I know I am not in the best shape, but geez! Just because I can't play video games doesn't mean I am old! Kevin of course, tested as 29 yrs old.

The kids had fun making their Mii's. Alek's has a goat tee, not sure what that is about, but it does scare me a bit!

The boys were very excited and happy to have their cousin Joe come spend the night. I decided it probably would be better to take them out and keep them busy. We went to Mr. B's coffee house which is this great indoor play area (free) with a coffe and snack bar. The kids love it and I get to enjoy a great latte! From there we went to KidzRule and indoor bounce place and spent another 2 hours. They loved it.

Treated to McDonalds for dinner and then they watched a movie. They were so beat, they all went to bed easily. It was really nice. I was then able to relax with a nice glass of wine and a movie. Kevin got up with them the next morning and made a great pancake breakfast. I am glad the boys got a chance to spend some good time together. They are already asking when the next sleepover will be!

Alek got his report card from the daycare kindergarten and another good report. We are so proud of him. He has really made impressive progress since last year.

Maks has an evaluation this week with speech at CHOP, I am very interested to see what they have to say. He really is trying and if you make him take his time he can say most words. His volume issue has gotten a little better as well.

He continue to crack us up. He really is a ham. The other day, he was looking at his teacher's chest/neck and said, Miss S. what yo got there? What do you mean Maks? There as he points to her chest. Why you got polka dots? She was happy he was referring to her freckles and not something else! What a piece of work he is--I just love him!

This past weekend was spent digging out from about 18 inches of snow and now we are expecting another 18-24 inches Tuesday-Wednesday, though I am hoping them move our area back into the 6-12 range. Enough is enough. My arms are killing me!

We are working hard on our Valentines for both schools and Alek is having fun working on his project for his 100th day of school. 100 days of kindergarten-wow, cannot believe how fast this gone, in a couple weeks are boy turns 6!

Giving

It has been so hard watching the coverage of Haiti, my heart breaks for everyone living this nightmare, especially for the children. Just wish there was more we could do.

God' Littlest Angels
www.glahaiti.org
Thanks to my amazing co-workers for all their donations of formula, children's and adults OTC meds, vitamins, toothpaste and toothbrushes. They are all on their way to GLA!!

Alek and Maks' day care will also be collecting supplies in conjunction with their "sister" nursing home. The supplies will be headed on a private plane to Haiti. If you are interested, email me at Kevkrishark@aol.com

Others:
www.jcics.org
http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/
http://www.worldwidevillage.org/
http://doctorswithoutborders.org/index.cfm
http://www.oxfamamerica.org/
https://www.hopeforhaitinow.org/


Thank you.

Back to reality

After an amazing and relaxing vacation, we came back to the "cold" reality. It was definitely bitter cold when we returned from Bimini and we slowly adjusted getting back to real life. The kids were excited to go back to school and see their friends. Can't say I was excited to head back to work. I think my post vacation funk lasted about 2 weeks.

Before break Alek had received his very first report card and did really well. We are very proud of him. We always worried about his behavior since he does get silly and overly energetic at times, but with both classes he has been doing great. I think the positive reinforcement with earning tokens and tickets for prizes has made a huge difference. Not to mention the fact his teacher knows he is a kid who needs to wiggle and move and is fine with that because she realizes that helps certain kids focus. So as long as he is not disruptive it works. It has been a big relief knowing he is doing well in school both in academics and behavior, not to mention the fact he loves kindergarten.

Maks loves his class and his teachers. His new speech therapist is wonderful. I was very upset at the fact they were changing our therapist yet again, but this one promised there would be no further changes and she is great. Her communication with me is fantastic and the teachers at school are impressed with her and see a difference with Maks. He is now participating in singing alot more, he loves to sing and learn new songs. Before he would never sing with his class. So now, we are working on slowing him down when he tells a story and also working on his volume. He tends to be very loud. He also participates alot more in circle time and group activities. he tries hard with each new activity. Maks also knows how "work" the teachers. They crack up at some of his comments and compliments. He truly is a funny kid.

So we are back in the swing of things. Kevin returned to his basement project and it is pretty much done. The area behind the bar looks amazing. I am so impressed. he really does a great job with his home improvement projects. Hopefully we will have a party soon to officially re-open the bar!
Alek is back into skating and doing well. He really loves it. We also signed him up for baseball and Maks for soccer, both starting in April.
We took a trip down to the Please Touch Museum in Philly. The kids had a blast.
Their favorite sections were the construction area and the Alice in Wonderland (which still freaks me out--there is just something wrong with that Mad hatter!).
We've had a couple birthday parties and enjoyed some warmer days for outside play.
We also took Maks to his first Flyers game. We all went, of course since I was there, they lost. But the kids had fun, thankfully some of the chants and words they heard have not stuck with them! They were especially happy that mommy broke down and let them have cotton candy, which of course I regretted later, but what can you do?
We had a fun playdate with KeKe, Ry, Makenzie, and Little Man. The kiddos hadnt seen each other in awhile, so they had a blast.
So, we are back to reality, I am looking forward to the days when it stays warm, Alek is counting down the days until his birthday. Hard to believe our baby will be six.

Make a Smilebox photobook

Decade in review

Borrowing the idea from Jenni! Great way to look back on our journey!

1999
-We’re gonna party like its 1999!
-Enjoying our married life in our little house in Harleysville with our yellow lab Corie Jayne.
Kevin and Jimmy built our patio.
-trip to visit our Ohio friends and take in a game at Jacobs field.
-Still working on the pregnancy thing, lots of doctors, lots of tests, no luck.
-Kevin started work at his current company.
2000
-Y2K-wondering what the fuss was all about
-Still working hard at getting pregnant and in mid January we are surprised with a positive—finally, see a heartbeat a couple times, all is good.
-enjoyed trip to Key West together for my nursing conference
- Devastated in April when we lose our little angel, later to find out it was a baby girl.
-Kevin built a fish pond in our yard and refinished the basement.
-Excited at arrival of our nephew Jake in May-lots of fun to have a baby around!
-First of many surgeries began in the summer to rid myself of this endometriosis.
-Enjoyed a great vacation in Myrtle Beach with the Harkins gang.
-Engagements: Joe and Niki, Mike and C
2001
-Still working on trying to build a family,
-Kitchen re-done, finished up basement.
-Had another surgery in March.
-Adopted Kaiser Magoo at 13 weeks, our goofy boxer/great dane mix.
-left the hospital and started work at GSK.
-Had a great trip to Dominican Republic with Mike, C, Jeff and Amy and celebrated my big 30.
-9/11 happened, nothing would ever be the same
-Mike and C got married at the shore, lots of fun!
-US went to war in Afghanistan
-My brother and Niki got married on a beautiful December day, 65 degrees, pretty strange for around here!
-still working at the family thing, lots of shots, lots of tests, lots of negatives and chemicals.
2002
-Moved onto IVF, signed consents, started the groundwork, but first another surgery.
-First IVF, failed.
-Replaced the roof on our house, had a patio door installed and our dining room painted and a new fence put in.
-Great vacation in Key West with Mike, C, and Steve, despite the hurricane rains! It eventually cleared up for or Duval crawl!
-Started back to school, MBA.
-FET done in Sept but no such luck.
-Gave Kevin trip to Outer Banks with the guys for their 35th bdays.
-Received promotion at work.
-Another FET done and another failure. Another surgery too.
-Celebrated our 5th anniversary in expensive cheesiness at Cesaers Pocono Palance, heart shaped hot tub and all!
2003
-February brought a blizzard, 20 inches of snow.
-Another sweet nephew born, Joe Jr.
-Another FET done and another negative.
- Iraq war started.
-Another surgery. Made plans to start another fresh IVF, heart not into it. Began looking at adoption options. Was getting excited about that. Tired and exhausted of being poked, proded, injected only to be devastated each month.
-2nd fresh IVF, only wound up with 5 embryos, transferred them all in one last hurrah. It failed.
-Sent in adoption application the next day. Decided on Republic of Georgia. Got dossier together and as it was ready to go in, Georgia closed.
-Rolled into agency’s Russian program. Got together dossier.
-Went to Disney World with Jim, LaLa and the kids. Had a blast.
-Dossier went to Russia.
-Car died. Had to buy another one.
-Started work at Johnson and Johnson.
-Started house hunting.
-Friends home from Russia with Blake, from Kirov. The first Kirov cutie I would know, but not the last!
-Excitedly waiting for quick referral as we would told it would be.
2004
-Still waiting, now getting different stories from agency, but keeping the faith.
-Said good bye to Aunt Mil
-Said goodbye toNan. Sad they would never meet our little one, but knew they would be watching over us.
-More run around and changing stories from agency. Frustration started. Finding out things from state about our agency, upset,its now March and we are unsure what to do. Little did we know, somewhere in Kirov Russia a little boy in born.
-complete fiasco regarding a possible placement here with our agency, heartbreak. I lose it, spend weekend in bed,sick, hurt and angry, wondering if I will ever be a mom.
- Tif pulls me out of funk and tells me to just give her agency director a call. I did, first thing Brent ever said to me was that he would restore my faith in adoption. Yea right.
-re-do dossier, get everything I need together in 2 weeks and submit it to Adoption Options. back to the waiting game.
-We found a house, finally, one we both agreed on. Same street as our friend.
-Tif and her mom visit Philly, while on tour bus I get call our old house has sold for over asking price!
-June, finally got the call for a 3 month old baby boy in Kirov named Aleksandr. Kevin was at Phillies game with Jimmy, PopPop and Rols. Frantically got ahold of him. That night we saw our son for the first time, in a blurry out of focus picture, but to us, he was perfect.
- Alek’s future girlfriend, Keeley is born. It was wonderful to know we were going to be sharing this parenting adventure with close friends.
- moved into our new home and 2 weeks after that we were traveling half way across the world to meet our beautiful Aleksandr who was now 5 months old
-head home knowing we would be back in 2 weeks for court.
- August 16, 2004, Its official, Aleksandr Smith Harkins is our son, we are a family forever! JoJo and her friend flew into Moscow and were waiting for us to return. We had a wonderful stay in Moscow getting to know our little man and soon we were all on the plane to London where Granny and PopPop were waiting to meet their newest grandson. We overnighted there and headed back to Philly the next day. Waiting at the airport was the rest of the family. It was a homecoming I will never forget. Grammom and Poppy, Pop and Noni, LaLa, Krissy, Kait, T and Jakey and Joe and Niki all waiting for us and for Alek. We were finally mommy and daddy and we were home. Love introducing Alek to all the rest of family and friends, especially his great grandmom’s (Me-Me and Nana).
- rest of 2004 was filled with many firsts. Alek was christened, Godparents Jimmy and LaLa.Welcome home to Kelsey from Tver, Russia (Blake’s lil sister). Loved all our first holidays, Halloween (Little Skunk), Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Crawling, creeping, getting into everything.
-Another surgery for me
-started back to work in November, LaLa took care of Alek for us!
-Christmas was extra special, we were a family, finally and forever. Started our tradition of Grammom, Poppy, and Me-Me coming to our house xmas morning for presents and breakfasts.
2005
-Alek has surgery, tubes and a circumcision thrown in.
-Took his first steps on 2/6/06 while Tifany and Kelsey were visiting from CA.
-First birthday party (construction theme) was a blast.
-Lots more firsts: Easter, beach, Memorial Day party and parade at JoJo’s. Zoo, parks, aquariums, beaches , all were extra special because of Alek. went with Pop and Noni, Joe, Niki and Joseph to New Hampshire for Labor weekend.
-Alek started at Little Lambs
-Hosted what would be the first of our Thanksgiving dinners.
-Changed jobs to contract position at Merck.
-October 2005, little did we know a gorgeous red head was born in Murmansk, Russia.
-Alek and I went to visit Tif in San Diego, attended AO picnic and meet the staff in person and thank them!
2006
-Alek, Pop, Noni and myself went to DC for Father Frost party at Russian Embassy.
-Celebrated Granny and PopPop’s 50th wedding anniversary with a surprise party at William Penn Inn on 1/20/06, it was an amazing party!
-Cousin Aldo Jr born.
-February made decision to head back to Russia for a little sister for Alek. Re-signed with AO and started on the paperwork.
-God daughter Ryan born!
-Newest niece, Reilly born—surrounded now by beautiful little girls!
-Received promotion at work.
-Switched our request for girl to either gender
-Another surgery for me.
-August-sitting at work, got the call from Brent, little 10 month old boy, medical a little scarey, but ran home to meet with Kevin, look at the pics and talk to doc. Gorgeous little red head, always wanted a red head!!
-Alek and I flew to NH with Pop and Noni for Labor Day weekend.
-Trip one to Murmansk, Russia was in October, we met Maks on his 1st birthday, October 12th! Traveled with an amazing couple (Chris and Kelli) there to meet their little man, Jacob. So great to share the experience with them. Maks hospitalized in Murmansk on our last day, couldn’t see him, very stressful and sad. Thankful to Chris and Kelli for their support when we got that news. Returned home to wait for news and court date. Got word Maks was fine, resp infection cleared.
-Got court date, Thanksgiving in Russia! Sad to hear due to paperwork delays Chris and Kelli would be delayed, so much wanted to share the end of this journey with them! SO hard to leave Alek especially for Thanksgiving. Got to Murmansk with snow and only daylight from 10-3. Met new couple there, Stephanie and Warrren, adopted two more cuties to add to their large family—fun to share the experience with them!
-11/20/06 its official, Maks-Joseph Kirill Harkins is our son! Harkins Family of Four! Thanksgiving in Moscow! Home to waiting family at airport on 11/25, held both my boys in my arms together for the first time! They were truly brother from that moment on!
-Maks hospitalized soon after arriving home with bilateral pneumonia, RSV and asthma exacerbation.
-Recovered in time for a wonderful 1st Christmas together!
2007
-We took Alek to Father Frost party at Russian Embassy in DC,
-back work PT in February, then transitioned back to FT.
-Maks’ 1st Easter! Alek turned 3 with Buzz Lightyear party.
-Kevin turned 40, party at our house for him and Rachel.
-Maks christened, Godparents JoJo and Big Mike!
-Lots more firsts: 1st Mothers day with both boys! 1st Memorial Day party and parade at JoJo’s for Maks. -Aunt Natalie passes away after a long and inspiring battle with ovarian cancer.
-Aunt Winnie visits from Florida and meets kids for first time, fun to have all the “girls” together, Winnie, Meem, Mom and myself.
-Tif and Kelsey visit from CA.
-Alek has last PPR!
-Vacation in Nags Head with Mike, C, the girls and the C family (6 kids, 7 adults, one house).
- Jeff and Amy get married (finally), beautiful beach wedding!
-Labor Day weekend at Pop and Noni beach house.
- Celebrate Maks’ 2nd birthday and 1st year home with big party.
-Maks’ 1st Halloween (Alek was policeman, Maks the Hamburgler).
-Bathroom refinished, its gorgeous!
-Enjoyed extra special Thanksgiving here with our families, one year anniversary of Maks’ adoption day. -Did a one night cruise out of NYV with Tim and Rach with John Legend in concert-what a blast!
-Another fun Christmas!!
-Kevin and I celebrate 10 yr anniversary 12/27!
2008
-Kevin and I took trip to Marathon Key for anniversary trip, kids stayed with Grammom and Poppy. Record cold temps in Florida-go figure! Fun trip anyway!!!
- Maks started speech therapy.
-Al B. died suddenly in March, our hearts break for Beth and Mike. He was wonderful and fun and an amazing dad. He will never be forgotten.
-Mike and C announce baby #3 on the way!
-Had hysterectomy in May. Finally no more surgeries!
-Jim and Laurie celebrate 20yrs!!!
-kids involved in lots of activities during the year: swimming, soccer, biddy sports camp, gym classes, karate, piano.
-spent vacation at Pop and Noni’s beach house in Delaware
-Maks spent his 3rd bday in ER with croup and asthma flare.
-Makenzie born, another new girlfriend for Alek and Maks!
-Went to Riviera Maya, Mexico with Rach for girls long weekend. Hard to leave kids, but wonderfully relaxing!
2009
-Took Alek to first Flyers game, got to meet a player, got a puck and a broken stick
-Our CorieJayne died at almost 12 years of age, she was a great dog, the best! We miss her so much.
-Took family trip to Florida, did Magic Kingdom for one day then drove to Indian Rocks Beach for rest of week, took in Phillies Spring training game.
-Kaiser died soon after being diagnosed with an unknown cancer. He was a great and goofy dog, a big lap dog, hard to believe both our fur babies are gone.
-Maks has dental surgery.
-Jeff and Amy welcome home Little Man from Kirov, another Kirov cutie home to his forever family!
-Alek playing T-ball, gets to parade around Citizens Bank Park before the Phillies game (his 1st one), I get to tag along!
-Took Maks to his first Phillies game, we all went for Father’s Day
-Long weekend to South Beach with Tim and Rach, in July—very hot!
-Nags Head, this time with 4 families (8 adults, 12 kids, one house!)
-Labor Day in Bowers with Pop and Noni.
-Alek started kindergarten!!
-Alek and Maks both playing soccer
-PopPop H passed away peacefully on October 7th and was remembered in a beautiful service on October 12th. He is deeply missed.
-I participated in Breast Cancer 3Day with my team The RackPack, though due to cold rain, it was a 1 day, but our teamed walked on our own all 3 days, for 40 miles and raised over 25k.
-Alek had 3rd set of tubes placed and his adenoids out
-Enjoyed our Thanksgiving and Christmas though it was hard and not the same without PopPop
-Trip to Bimini with Tim, Rach and their kids 12/26-1/2, great escape and a good way to end the decade and begin a new one.

An amazing decade it has been for our family, ups and downs, but many blessings! Can’t wait to see what the next decade in our journey holds!

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Albert Einstein

Escape

Escape. Exactly what you need after a hectic year and hectic holidays. So that is what we did, we ran away, left the tree behind, left most of the presents behind, left the wash and more importantly the cold.

Our advenutre began at 5:30 am on December 26th when the alarm went off. Kevin and I got up, ready, last minute bag checks and then got the boys going. We bundled up, loaded the car and headed to the airport-our ticket out of this cold and our path to relaxation. Alek was armed with his new DS and Maks with his Leapster in hopes that they would provide a great distraction for a day of travel. Santa did well, they loved their games and it kept them content. We met our traveling friends at the airport and headed through security with a little extra pat down thanks to one idiot's antics on a Christmas day flight. Before we knew it we were on the plane and headed towards our first stop, Ft. Lauderdale International Airport. We packed light and only carryon, so we ran outside, relished in the warm air and grabbed a taxi to our next stop, the Ft. Lauderdale executive airport. Then we hit our first snag. Our charter pilot and his plane were not there, but over at the other airport. He apparently had left me a voicemail on my office phone, despite the fact I sent him my cell. After a discussion in which he offered to put us up in a hotel for the night, which I told him was completely unacceptable and a few other words, he was on his way back to pick us up. Apparently he was a little afraid of me since I (in his words), "chewed his head off". I personally dont think I was bad, just adament that nothing was stopping us from getting to our escape THAT DAY!

So there was our charter plane, small, interesting, wondering if it looked like it would make the 20 minute flight? Nervousness was abound in our group, but as for myself, God Bless Ativan, love how much it takes the edge off. Though I will admit, when I saw them loading luggage in the wings my stomach flipflopped a bit! We all climbed aboard and took off. It really wasn't bad and it was actually great when we could see the beautiful blue water and our island escape. Bimini, there it was right below us, the "island in the stream" of Hemingway fame, was there, just waiting for us to settle in and chill. I have to say, landing in those small planes is a dream, that was the smoothest landing I ever felt and they stop so quickly too! So we gave Captain Ray or RayRay as he was known at the airport, his props, our thanks and my apologies and we headed off to next leg. You land on South Bimini, so we had to take a 5 minute taxi ride to the water and then we climbed aboard a water taxi to cross to North Bimini. The ride was another 5 minutes. The dock on North Bimini is right by the site where they filmed the last scene of Silence of the Lambs ("I'm having an old friend for dinner..."). We then jumped in another taxi and headed towards our resort, Bimini Bay. We checked in and then were taken to our house, which was perfect. it was beautiful, clean and very new and 2700 sq feet was perfect for 8 people.

Once we explored resort we came to the conclusion that while yes you can walk, you can't walk into town and really explore, so we rented a golf cart for the week. We enjoyed our first sunset and settled in to relax and unwind, they were our only goals for the week.

The next morning we set out for the pool, we decided on the infinity pool as it was so beautiful with its endless view into the blue ocean. One problem, the water was freezing, but the kids stilled played and we enjoyed a great lunch at the grille. The kids loved the playground as well and we made several visits there throughout the week. We explored the beach close to the pool it was interesting that there was this giant wall blocking the sea from the resort it seemed. You walked down steps to the beach, lots of beautiful large rocks and reefs. The water was warm and gorgeous and we noticed that you could easily snorkel right off that beach.

We found the other pool near the marina and near our house. Again it was gorgeous, yet cold. But there was a long skinny hot tub type pool, that was perfect for the kids and us. We spent most of the week there. We also found the beach at the end of the resort that was absolutely gorgeous, The further you drove down the road, the more secluded and natural the beach became. There were tidal pools surrounded by coral and there were conch shells everywhere. It was truly paradise.

The week was spent relaxing at the pool or the beach. The guys made friends with a family who was staying on their rather large boat. The boys went fishing for the day while the wife and 3 girls hung with us. They were wonderful people, so nice and a lot of fun. We consider them our new friends in Sarasota and hope to see them again. The boys deep sea fishing was not successful in terms of actual fish but they had a great time. T and W did get a day in of bone fishing with a famous boat maker and bonefisherman named Ancill Saunders. He used to take Martin Luther King Jr out on his boat and apparently MKL wrote his Nobel Peace Prize speech on his boat along with the speech to the striking machinist's right before his assination. Pretty amazing the history. We loved exploring the island, it is very small, two roads (the low road and the high road). The history is fascinating, the people who spent alot of time there, from Hemingway, to MLK, to Jimmy Buffett and countless other. It is a unique place. The guys always seemed to experience some adventure or meet someone crazy while they were out. The people are so friendly and nothing seems to bother them. Along with that attitude is the fact they dont rush to do anything and nothing starts on time. While that would be absolutely annoying to most of us, I have to say for a week it was refreshing, no wonder they are happy!

New Years Eve we made a dinner reservation for the resort restaurant. There was a big party going on but none of us wanted to pay the extra price for it. So we got the kids settled in and headed out for what we hoped was a fabulous dinner. Well, they decided to close the restaurant early, never though to mention it to the people who had reservations after that point. The manager albeit nice was not helpful at all. So my friend and I left the guys, who were cranky, hungry and angry hanging out there, and we headed up to the main office. After several nice but unhelpful staffers, we were guided to the new general manager of the resort. He immediately apologized and invited us all in, free of charge to the tent party. So we went. It was very nice. While we had to wait in line for buffett, the food was amazing!! The drinks were great and the people watching even better. The boys decided to bail on us after dinner since they were going fishing early the next morning, such losers! So R and I hung out and realized that everyone seemed to know each other? We met a very nice man who informed us, yes most people here are related to the owner of the resort or were friends. He said most of them were cuban american's from Miami area and they all had been coming here for years. We also got to watch performance of a latin grammy winner, Fonzi, I think that is what he was called. He was good, we didn't understand any of the songs, but he was obviously very popular. We did know Feliz Navidad, so that was fun! We ran in the new year on the dance floor, watching some funny drunk people. It was a great night, despite not having the hubbies there.

One of the highlights for all of us was seeing a junkanoo band. The first we saw was during a parade for Boxing Day. It was supposed to start at 8, but didn't start til 9. Alek and Maks made friends with a little boy from town, and they had a blast, running around and play hide and seek while we were waiting. The band was so amazing. The costumes and the drums were incredible. The drums were the coolest. The kids loved it, we all did and it was fun to be sharing with the people in town, not just other tourists. We got an extra treat on New Years Day when the band paraded through the resort.

It was a wonderful and relaxing week. We all loved Bimini, the history, the people, the food, the sun and the beaches. I know we will definitely return. We loved that it wasn't touristy, it was small and it was so laid back. Our kind of island for sure!

Unfortunately we had to return to reality and it was a cold reality at that, temps in the 20's? Not fun at all. At least the boys had fun returning home to all the Christmas presents they had left behind. As for me, I bundled up and day dreamed about the sun and sand and wondering what we could plan for our next escape.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Countdown continues

5 days til Christmas (well actually I counted wrong, never claimed math was my strong suit-so counting Saturday and Sunday as one day here) and mother nature gave to me a blizzard! We braved the conditions with Jimmy’s stellar driving and made it to the Flyers game only to watch them lose, again. It was a fun afternoon out with Jim, Laurie, Kevin and Joanne. Thanks to Krissy and T for babysitting!! As I was snuggling with the boys and reading books later, Alek told me he couldn’t wait to make snow angels tomorrow and then proceeded to tell me that I was a beautiful angel, Maks followed up with, “You’re my best mama”. Truly doesn’t get much better than that! Had a blast sledding, they loved going down the hill together with mama, we would fall off the sled cracking up. Took Alek for a quick visit to Nana’s, with Pop, Noni, and the McCann clan. Sorry we couldn’t stay long as Alek and cousin Aldo were having a blast. Back home, boys excited for Miss Jessie to babysit and then we were off to fabulous dinner at Dilworthtown celebrating Granny’s 70th (we will be away for the actual day). Crazy, fun filled weekend and again, I got absolutely nothing done for Christmas. I need an elf to come wrap my presents for me.

4 days til Christmas and back to work, trying to tie up loose shopping ends as well. Counting down days to Santa and beach. Angels are at day care and headed to nursing home to perform for the residents and have a Christmas party with them. I love that the school has a relationship with the nursing home, it is great for the kids and the residents. Get a call that Alek is having a rough time listening now that they are back at school and he was not being very nice to his teacher, so we need to pick him up. Hmmm, wonder if Santa was watching this? The joys of the season and all its busyness and overstimulation. Once I got to school, he was in better shape and back in his group, but I still took him home to drive the point home. He was devastated, my herat broke watching him cry, I know it can be so hard this time of year to keep yourself in check. Hopefully lesson was learned though. Guilt ridden he headed into home, prepared to have a better day tomorrow.

3 days til Christmas and all was quiet, thankfully. We organized for our trip, did some wrapping. Maks is so set on the Bahamas, he keeps telling everyone, I go to the Bahamas. He seems to be skipping right over Christmas. Alek of course is correcting him, reminding him of the excitement for Christmas. He is definitely the big brother.

2 days til Christmas, Alek is pumped for his kindergarten party, but bummed mommy wont be there this time. They only allow so many parents for each party, so even though I helped organize, I had to give other parents a chance to be there. He had a blast. Maks wanted a party too. Alek told his teacher that, so she sent home extra goodies for Maks. Alek is a sweetie when he wants to be. I spent most of the night wrapping after the kids went to sleep. Wish I could hire an elf. I am exhausted and battling a sinus thing, hope it goes away, I don't have time to be sick!

1 day til Christmas and it is crunch time. Boys are pumped, mommy’s frazzled and daddy’s ambivalent and not worried at all. Got my hair done and a pedicure for the trip, did my food shopping and rushed home to try and relax before the official festivities begin. JoJo’s for Christmas eve dinner. Fun as always! Maks was always hungry especially for the desserts. Food was great. Alek managed to rip another pair of pants, he has put a hole in a knee in 4 pants this week! The kids were extra excited this year between Christmas and upcoming trip, they were bouncing off the walls, who could blame them? After a great time it was home to get ready. We got our cookies (thanks Jo, as mommy forgot to get some or prepare the brake and bakes) and milk and letter out for Santa, brushed our teeth, said our prayers and off to bed. I ran to catch 11 pm church, which was a beautiful, peaceful candlelight service that I enjoyed very much. It was good for me to slow down, have that time and remember the real meaning of Christmas. Of course as soon as it was over, I had to rush home to finish the stockings. I managed to get in bed by 1 am. It was cold, and I fell asleep dreaming of warm sandy beaches.

Christmas!!! It’s here!! Mom and I got on the same page and made sure they arrived by 8:15am, they have been known to pull in our driveway and we are all still asleep. Maks was up and ready, I had to wake Alek up—like Grammom says, what kid has to be woken up on Christmas? They opened their stockings in our room. It was time to head downstairs. The paparazzi was waiting with cameras and video! The boys ran excitedly to their piles. Alek blew through his as if it was a race, paper flying everywhere! Maks was methodical, carefully unwrapping each present, inspecting each one and wanting to play with each one. Of course Alek thought Maks had more since he was still opening, but we put that issue to rest quickly. We had a wonderful breakfast from Chef Kevin. Meem loved her omelet, she looks forward to this each year. Her own special time with the boys. It was a great morning! Grammom, Poppy and Meem packed up and headed home. Pop and Noni then arrived for their visit, more presents, more excitement. Loved that Noni was resourceful again this year and had their presents in great big beach/overnight bags. They are perfect for our trips to South Bowers in the summer. We enjoyed our visit and I started getting everyone ready to head to dinner with the Harkins clan. Granny and JoJo stopped by with their presents, more excitement for the kids—it was non stop on Christmas day! Granny bought their bags for our trip, they were a big hit, perfect size. They loved the toys from JoJo. We all got ourselves together and headed to Jim and LaLa’s for dinner. It was an amazing dinner as usual and a good time. It was definitely hard this year without PopPop, he was in all our minds and our hearts. The boys enjoyed more presents and big hit was their new ZhuZhu pets, hopefully these will stop the pestering for a new pet for a while. They are cute, but they do need cages, those buggers crawl all over the place!! It was another wonderful Christmas and we are thankful to have such an amazing family so close by. Off to home we went, last minute packing as the alarm would be waking us up early for our adventure to Bimini. Sunshine and warmth, here we come!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Countdown, days 10 to 6

10 Days til Christmas and the sounds of coughing and sniffles are ringing through our house. Alek tells me his nose is tired of all the running it is doing, not to mention the issue of his "eyes leaking". Cracks me up when he says that! On another note, he did so great in the church play, he was angel and a donkey--we were very proud of him. Of course it wouldn't be our kid without something funny happening, as I was zooming in on his angelic face singing a beautiful song, I watch as his finger begins a journey into his nose, until he finds a winner! Such a beautiful moment, caught on tape forever!

9 Days til Christmas and my little loves are racing trucks around the house buck naked and laughing their little hineys off. Despite my head pounding from the noise, I can’t help but laugh.
Gotta love boys!

8 days til Christmas and my little love (Maks) gave to me a great laugh in his sweatshirt, tighty whitey underwear and flip flop ensemble. He is ready for the beach and has taken to sleeping with his flip flops on!

7 days til Christmas my little love (Alek) gave to me, the priviledge and pride of watching him skate well enough during test day to advance two levels! I love seeing him full of pride and excitement!

6 days til Christmas and I have the joy of watching my little loves perform together in their school show. Alek looking handsome in his shirt and tie and singing his heart out, Maks looking as cute as can be in his Santa hat with his rhythm sticks. The highlight was as all the kids are singing, “A few of my favorite things”, Maks is attempting to scale the large pole on the stage and pretty soon has 2 other little boys following him. I love it! These are the times that mean a lot. It wasn’t that long ago that these activites seemed like ones we may never get to experience.

Enjoy the video clip from the holiday show, you will notice the monkey scaling the pole on the left is Maks.

Walking in a winter wonderland

Tree time! One of my favorites things of the season. I love the tree, the smell and decorating. We usually get two trees, one for living room and one for basement for the trains and the kids to decorate. Since we are going away we decided to only come home to one dead tree.

We headed north to a tree farm to find the perfect tree. It is a great farm, the provided the White House tree in 2006 and told us they did our state capitol tree this year.

It was our Griswald, I mean Harkins fun family christmas activity. We were happily surprised to see snow still on the ground up there. Made the adventure extra special. we hiked around looking for the perfect tree. There were so many beautiful fraziers, it was very hard to decide. The boys had a blast running around in the snow, they even met some other kids to play way.

We finally found the perfect tree for us and Kevin cut it down. I was supposed to make sure it didn't fall over but I was busy filming, it almost landed on Alek--we all got a good laugh out of it.

The day went pretty well aside from some issue securing the tree to our roof for the longer drive. But it all worked out.

It was a beautiful day and a fun adventure. Double checked the tree for squirrels before moving it inside. I decorated most of it while the kids were sleeping to protect my fragile ornaments and then left all their for the bottom.

Now that the tree is up and decorated it truly feels like Christmas for me. I love sitting in the living room in the quiet with just the lights on the tree. So peaceful.

Next on the holiday list, Alek is in the church Christmas pageant. He is in the angel choir and also will be the donkey during one song.

Both boys have their holiday show this week at LL.

13 days til christmas, 14 days til beach!!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Visit with the Big Guy

This week brought about the much anticipated visit with the Big Guy, the man himself, Santa.

The boys were very excited and kept changing their minds and arguing over what they were asking Santa for.

We headed over to Santa's temp office space, aka the mall and waited for his arrival. Excitment built as the clock chimed 6 pm. Then all the kids in line saw the big Guy headed our way.

I always enjoy watching kids visit with Santa, especially the ones that cry. There is just something great and classic about those pictures where a child is screaming and crying, I still enjoy looking at those of myself as a toddler like that.

Well, we are past those days. Santa is a rock star to the boys now, no fear of him. I have never seen them be more polite and well behaved as they strolled up to Santa, shook his hand and sat down.

They cooperated for great pictures and took turns telling Santa what they wished for. It was a beautiful thing to watch.

And then it was over.

I wish Santa could come to my house each day. I love the power he has over them!

After our Santa visit we headed into our Picture People appointment. So much for the power of Santa. let the silliness begin. It was the usual scene. Kids, parents, crying, pets, giggles, annoyed photographers. The joys of the season!

Our photo session was ok. I was not thrilled with our girl. She didn't have much patience. Never offered us the other backdrops or props which annoyed me. The boys got silly. So I cut it short.

The photos were not too bad, but not as good as we have had in the past.

The crazy thing in all of this: with my coupon it was cheaper to get a photo session and two poses at Picture People then one with Santa?!? Didnt pictures with Santa used to be free?

Oh well, it was a fun night none the less and as Kevin says,

"Its the most wonderful time of the year".

Two weeks til Santa's arrival, two weeks and one day until we are all playing in the sand and soaking up the sun in Bimini!

First snow

Much excitment this weekend in our house, the first snow. Alek and I were at a birthdy party when the flakes came down. By the time the party was over the ground was covered and all the kids were excited to go home and start playing.

We got home and woke up Maks from his nap, he couldn't get his boots on fast enough. It was the perfect snow for snowballs and snowmen. We had a great snowball fight, make snow angels and played on the swing set. They love swinging with snow on the ground-haven't quite figure out why?

We went in for awhile to warm up and then headed off to a local church that was supposedly having sleigh rides and other Christmas activities. Unfortunately due to the weather the sleigh didn't make it, but the kids enjoyed the live nativity and petting zoo along with some cookies and juice.

We headed home a little early and played outside in the dark. They begged me to help build a snowman. I realized after 10 minutes I was the only one building and they were engaged ina snow ball fight. I finally finished my creation and was getting the carrot for the nose when I came back out and watched my snowman being decapitated. BOYS!!! That was enough snow fun for me!

The only downer was not having time to sled. The beautiful snow on the trees really got me into the holiday spirit. The cold made me dream of our upcoming vacation. 3 weeks til the beach. Cannot wait, now back to shopping and Christmas preparations!

Your Help is Needed!

Bring Anya Home!

"Anya Turovinina applied for a visa to come to study English in the U.S. She was to be seeing her sister for the first time in 3 years. Four days before she was to fly to Boston, the United States Embassy in Moscow denied her a visa because she is an orphan and “likely to try to remain in the U.S.”

If you think of all the foreign nationals here studying legally and in many cases illegally, it is absurd to see why Anya was denied. She is not a threat to this country, she would not be a burden. She is a young girl who wants to be with her sister and have a chance at a better life. Those of us who have been to Russia and have been involved in Russian adoption know what the future can be for those who age out of orphanages and have no place to go.
It is unfathomable to me to think that someone sitting behind a desk in the Embassy gets to decide this girls fate.
You will see after reading the pages that the best hope right now is intervention from the State Department and Hilary Clinton.

Please visit the blog and Facebook pages below. Please lend your voice and help reunite these two sisters and make this family complete!
This is the season for miracles, lets hope and pray Anya will receive her Christmas miracle soon!

Thank you!!!
http://bringanyahome.org/
Facebook Group
Facebook Letters to State Department

News Coverage:
Salem News
Boston Globe
NECN TV

Thankful

Another Thanksgiving was upon us and we were knee deep in our preparations. We were looking forward to having another family feast at our house. We knew this would be a little difficult so soon after PopPop's passing, but we were happy everyone could be together. It would be great to have all the Harkins crew here.

Alek had a follow-up ENT appt to check on a stubborn ear tube that had never fallen out and also to discuss some other symptoms. After an exam and x-ray it was determined he needed surgery. He needed two more tubes in as there was persistent fluid in both ears and he also needed his adenoids removed. They were blocking 3/4 of his airway. This explains the snoring and restless sleep! They offered us the day before Thanksgiving so we took it.

I managed to get alot done the weekend before and also enjoyed my 20th HS reunion! Yikes, 20 years?!? 20, that just freaks me out, I dont feel like I have been out of HS twenty years? It was fun and it was great to see some old friends, whom I might add, look fabulous and the same as we did back then!! But, the clothes, all those pictures from the 80's, the hair? That was a tragic fashion decade for sure!

Tuesday was the boys Thanksgiving feast and show at LL. This would be Alek's last one there. Their songs were cute and Maks actually participated this year, I was so proud of him. He is making such great progress. He sang loudly as well. It was great up until the time Alek and Maks were standing next to each other dancing and swinging their arms together, Maks got a little aggressive and whacked Alek. I tried to make pretend I didn't know them! :o) Thankfully a quick on her feet teacher seperated them for the remainder of the program. We had a great lunch together with all the trimmings. It was a wonderful afternoon.

Wednesday was surgery. We had prepped Alek on the day by visiting the CHOP website for kids and playing the games and listening to the cartoon character talk about surgery. He was well prepared. He did great pre-op and we were cracking up watching the giggle juice kick in. He was sooo stoned, it was comical. My heart broke though and I teared up watching him head back to the OR, all of a sudden he looked so little to me. It was a tense 45 minutes for me, but soon the doc came out and said all went well. He wound up also having an issue with a turbinate in his nose which was also causing a blockage so they fixed that as well. We then headed back to post-op and he was a mess. He had such a hard time. He was crying, disoriented and kept trying to itch his face. He seemed like he was in a lot of pain. It was heart breaking. He seemed to settle once I climbed on the stretcher with him and then gave him some more pain meds. He just needed to settle and sleep. At one point he must have become more oriented because he looked at me and said, "where are we"?. He then went on to have a couple popsicles. Soon we were sprung free and we headed home. He napped alot, would wake up and want to play and then would quickly feel bad and lay back down. He did throw up twice, but had a great night sleep and by Thanksgiving you would never know he had surgery. He has barely snored and is doing great. We see a difference already!

Thanksgiving brought a beautiful fall day. The cooking went well, the kids were excited for everyone to come over, especially their cousin Jake. He is like a rock star in our house-it is so funny. I wouldn't be surprised if they soon requested poster size pics of Jake to be hung on their walls.
Pop and Noni, stopped by for appetizers and cocktails on the way to Grammom's house. The boys enjoyed their visit, and loved the goodies for Maks' birthday and the new shoes for Alek. The rest of the family arrived shortly after. It was a great day, food was great, thanks to everyone who brought the sides. We stuffed ourselves big time. I know it was especially hard day for Granny, but I am glad we could all be together. PopPop was in our thoughts and we know he was looking down on all of us.

We are so thankful for our family and it is wonderful to be able to live so close to everyone and share all our holidays together.
We enjoyed the long holiday weekend and took advantage of having no plans to get caught up on cleaning and xmas decorating. Our outdoor lights went up smoothly with no yelling and Kevin even kicked it up a notch by venturing onto the roof to outline the front of our house. It looks great and the kids love it. They are getting very excited for Christmas--this definitely is a fun time of year! We are all excited to be taking a trip with our friends and their kids the day after Christmas to Bimini. We know it will make things a little extra hectic leading up to it, but the relaxation and adventure for the family will be so worth it!
So good bye November, hello December, another year flying by!

A Family Is Like
by Nicole M. O'Neil
A Family is like a circle
the connection never ends
and even if at times it breaks
in time it always mends
a family is like the stars
somehow there always there
families are those who help who support and always care
A Family is like a book
the endings never clear
but through the pages of the book
their love is always near
A family is many things
with endless words that show
who they are and what they do
and how they teach you so you know
but don’t be weary if it's broken
or if through time its been so worn
families are like that-
they can be split up or torn
but even if this happens
your family will always be
they help define just who you are
and will be apart of you eternally.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Happy 3rd Family Day Maks-Joseph!!

Three years ago today, November 20, 2006 a kind judge in Murmansk, Russia declared that we would forever be Maks-Joseph Kirill's parents. After a stressful court session, those were sweet words to hear. In our hearts he was our son, but now in the eyes of the court and the world, it was official!



It is amazing to see how much he has changed from the sickly and sad little boy we first met. To look at those initial pictures both amazes me and breaks my heart. It is so neat to look at the picture progression and see this light and life appear in his face and his eyes. he is truly a miracle. From his rough and premature start in life, he fought and he still fights. He is one tough cookie and I love his fire and resiliency, even when he is driving us nuts!!

Our journey with Maks was special. We did get to share in certain "milestones" we didn't think we would when we set out on our second adoption and anticipated adopting a little person closer to 18 months.

We got to meet Maks on his 1st birthday. While he had no idea the importance of that day, it meant alot to us.

We also got to share Thanksgiving with him in Moscow. While we desperately missed Alek and our family back home, it was amazing to spend that time with him in Russia. We had so many things to be thankful for that year.

Maks and Alek were brothers from the moment they met at the airport. They took to each other quickly and Alek has made an incredible big brother. For all the Alek went through during that time, being 2 1/2 and having his parents go away twice and suddenly show up with a new person who was getting into his toys, he did great. It was so much better than we anticipated! Yes, they battle and fight, but they are buds and they have each other's backs. I love it and I hope they always stay that way.

It has been a wonderful and crazy three years with Maks. He has come such a long way and we are so proud of him. He is truly an amazing little man and we are honored to be his parents!

We love you Mackey, Happy Family Day!!!

Progress

The past week brought around progress reports and parent teacher conferences.
Alek was up first. Our first official parent-teacher conference. Though we had not received any bad reports or emails from his teacher and he seemed to come home everyday with greens on his charts, we were still nervous. In the back of our minds was last year. Alek had such a rough time from September to November we were worried. I never said anything ahead of time to the teacher, because I didn't want to ever label him before anything ever happened. I am glad I didn't.
The conference went really well. His teacher is fabulous and totally gets it. She showed us some of his work and what his strengths and weaknesses were. She said he was timid at first and not wanting to participate or speak out alot in class, which surprised me, but she said it didn't take long for him to open up.
We asked about behavior and his wiggles. She said, that yes he does wiggle and move, but he is not disruptive and is also focused and she doesnt expect kids to be still, especially active boys. She said she usually has him sit towards the back of the carpet when they do floor work so he is not bunched in and can move around. She said many kids need to wiggle and move to stay focused and that is ok. She said he is always focused and knows what is going on and is very involved. She said he also loves to be a helper. It was so great, I love that she gets it and gets him. He loves school and he loves her, he is excited to go everyday, he loves learning and he loves his homework.
We are so pleased and needless to say we were thrilled after this conference!

Next up was Maks. Maks' teacher is wonderful as well. She had Alek and she knows my kids well. She worked over the summer to slowly transition Maks to the older preschool room. She had expressed concern that he may struggle with the longer circle time and "education" type activities because he would be easily distracted. She also had said he never had much patience when it came time for arts and crafts activities. Never really liked coloring, which is totally true. He never wanted to color or draw. She had said we would watch and see how he would do.
Well he progress report was great. She said he is more focused. He is great in circle time, loves it, is extremely engaging and loves to participate and in fact gets sad when it is over. She said he is starting to color more and really enjoy art activities. She said the only thing was his frustration. He is a perfectionist. If it is not done the way he thinks it should be, he gets mad and throws it out. He is exactly this way at home, especially with his legos. He knows what he wants to do in his mind, but if he can't get it exactly that way, he gets very frustrated. But he is persistent and will start from scratch. He is also starting to make closer friends and he is tight with one girl in particular. So that was nice to hear.
She said all in all he is on target for his age and his group and he is doing well. I was very happy. It is nice to hear it from someone else!
His speech is slowly improving. We are getting yet another therapist, which to me is a big part of the issue. They keep changing on us. But I hear great things about the new one, so I am hopeful. He still struggles with T,F, S sounds, but he can do it, you just have to slow him down. If he is slow and repeating after you he can do it. We basically undestand 90% of what he says, so that is a big improvement.

It has been a great fall so far in terms of school, so we are thrilled.
We are looking forward to a fun family Thanksgiving that we will be hosting. The only downside is Alek now needs surgery. he will be having his third set of tubes placed and his adenoids out the day before Thanksgiving. The surgeon said he would be fine, probably just tired and maybe some pain, but we will be able to control it. There are also no eating restrictions. Hopefully this will help curb the infections, mouth breathing and restless sleep. I am sure we will see a big improvement.

Next up: Maks 3rd Family Day, November 20, 2009! Hard to believe 3 years ago we were spending Thanksgiving in Moscow.

Learning

I have seen these articles lately which discuss different kinds of parents from "helicopter" , "black hawk" to "free range" to "slow parenting". The names were hilarious so of course I had to read on. I had heard of some of descriptions before and read on as I noticed some of my own characteristics in one of the articles. Part of me has to chuckle and wonder how any of us even survived childhood let alone become successful adults?
It did get me thinking about where I fall and also what I have learned in the 5 years I have been a parent.

Safety/Health:
I often think how I grew up, being able to run all over our neighborhood, ride our bikes, explore the woods by our house that led down to Valley Green and Fairmount Park. We could ride our bikes or walk on the main street to go to the library, Dunkin donuts or the mini mart. I was able to jump on Septa when I was 11 to catch a ride up the YMCA for swimming. I played hard, I got hurt, I had fun and I learned. I also was babysitting at age 10-who would ever think nowadays to allow a 10 yr old to babysit? We ate home cooked meals, but we also had candy, we had McDonald's treats. We had TV dinners. Nothing was labeled "organic" or "free range".

I realize how different it is now. I admit it, I hovered, I didnt want them to get hurt. I flinched everytime they fell. Now, I even run right next to them or ahead of them while they ride their bikes or scooters down the street, because I am worried someone may back out of their driveway and hit them. I was thinking to myself, when will I ever be comfortable letting them ride their bikes around the neighborhood without me? It scares me, I dont want to be like that. I want them to have freedom, explore, and learn without me being arms length away. I hope I can overcome my fears of this world and not project those fears onto them. It seems like such a fine line in teaching them how to be safe without scaring the crap out of them.
I bought and still do buy alot of organic. I do my best to avoid artificials dyes. Alek never had any sugar until the cake on his 1st bday. I kept him from candy and fast food. I forced Maks to eat his vegetables until he started liking broccholi. They eat what we make. They have to eat at least a little bit of everything that is on their plate.

What I have learned:
I cant put them in a bubble, they need some freedoms, they need some space, they need to fall and learn how to rub off the boo boo and bounce back.
So I do try to give them extended boundaries with their bikes and scooters and sit and watch. I dont flinch as much as I used, but I guess having two very physically active boys will do that to you. I let them flip and experiment on the jungle gym and try tricks with their scooters (as long as their helmets are on). Yes, they fall and get hurt, but mommy fixes it or they brush it off and keep playing.
It is ok to have treats and fast food on occasion. It is ok to have candy as a treat. Not everything has to be organic. They will survive and thrive, just like we did. Everything in moderation.

Activities
I can see how easy it is to get overscheduled. There are so many opportunities for kids today, even infants with mommy and me classes. I admit, I sign my kids up. I get hooked on it. We have done swimming, soccer, T-ball, Little Gym classes, karate, ice skating and Gymboree.
What I have learned:
Spread it out, one activity a session or season and the class cannot be more then 2 days per week. Even then those days seem exhausting to me, from work to after school to the activity. I dont know how people do it everyday, with multiple kids in multiple activities. I guess you ease into it and by them time they are old enough for sports that occur everyday, it is second nature to you? But hopefully I can stick with that rule and not get talked into extra activities by the kids!

Comparing and analyzing:
it is so easy to compare your kids to others and I think second nature. You want to make sure your kiddo is keeping up or even ahead! I think this occurs even more so with PI kids. You know they didn't get a great start in life, so you want to help them catch up and truthfully you would love to see it happen quickly. You also spend alot of time preparing yourself and learning about issues related to adoption, attachment, and development. You read the horror stories and the good ones as well. But then you find yourself analyzing every little thing, wondering what it is a sign of? Am I doing something wrong, what specialist should I see, what book should I read?
What I have learned:
It is so great to be prepared and educate yourself on all the things that can happen or issues that can arise, red flags for development or attachment issues, but it is also very important to learn expected development and stages and to keep in mind that all children are different. You should not compare. If you learn about development, there is a wide range of time that is acceptable, some kids hit milestones quickly and early and others are late bloomers and that is ok. I have to thank many of my friends, especially teacher friends, for reminding me of this.
Dont spend your time obsessing and worrying and constantly comparing your child to others. You may miss out on alot of fun stuff with your child. Instead listen to your gut, your mom instincts. if you feel something is not right, then definitely get it checked out. But give your children time to go through phases and stages. I also think we have such high expectations of our children nowadays. When we were in preschool, we learned so much through play, we were not expected to sit still for long periods or learn advanced concepts, yet many of us still managed to become successful adults.
Kids that are going to be brilliant/gifted and kids that will struggle need their accomodations and it is so great those opportunities are there, but otherwise even if your child is not writing or reading at age 4 or speaking 3 different languages, chances are they still will be caught up with their classmates come 1st grade. Another thing I have learned is there is nothing wrong with being average as long as you are trying your best. I want my kids to have time to be kids, I want to encourage them and guide them through school and any other activites they choose. I want them to want to do their best. I want them to learn what it is like to fail and be able to pick yourself up and try better next time. I really have to make an effort not to coddle, it is ok to fail, ok to fall and ok not to be the best at everything, but rather give your best in anything you do.

Everyday I learn something new and I keep evolving as a parent. I am not perfect and I dont have to be and I cannot do it all, even if I wanted to. Despite my imperfections, the boys are doing well. They are happy and healthy. They fall right on or above those developmental stages charts. They misbehave, they find lots of ways to get dirty or get hurt. They are exhausting. They are sweet. They are funny. They are getting good reports from school. They have lots of friends. They love and they are loved. All in all I think we are doing pretty well here.

November is National Adoption Month

Every child has the right to live in a loving, safe and permanent family.

National Adoption Day and National Adoption month is national and collective effort created to raise awareness of the 129,000 children living in foster care in the US.

For me it is also a time to think about children throughout the world, living without the stability and permanency of a loving family. Children in foster care, orphanages, or living on the street, living without hope, love and safety.

UNICEF estimates that approximately 143 million children around the world live as orphans.

143 million, that number is staggering to me. It just seems daunting. Something I think about daily. I think of those other little faces back in the orphanages in Kirov and Murmansk and just wish I could bring them all home with me.

It just seems so overwhelming, A problem too difficult to figure out the answer to, so easier to just make pretend it doesn't exist?

Thankfully there are organizations out there who choose not to ignore this great need and they work daily to make a difference.

Adoption, while it is an amazing and life changing journey is not for everyone. But, No matter what way your child comes into your family to me it is miracle and a gift and one that should never be taken for granted. Adoption is not easy and it is not for the faint of heart. But the rewards and joy you experience are like nothing you have ever felt before. If you ever hear someone say, "just adopt" you know that person has no idea what they are talking about! If only it were so simple. It takes time and effort, both emotionally, financially and logistically.

So if you feel you can open your heart and home to a child who needs you, then I say go for it!! if not, that is ok to, there are other ways you can help!!

These organizations I will mention below can always use your help in other ways. So take the time to explore the websites, request information or give a donation. No matter what you decide to do, big or small, it will make a difference!

Joint Council for International Children's Services

http://jcics.org

Please check out their information for the Families for Orphans Act of 2009 (H.R. 3070)

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/z?c111:H.R.3070:

Sign the Petition!

Please also check out their movement

Be the Answer!

http://www.jcics.org/bta%20about%201.htm

The Dave Thomas Foundation

http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/

Please check out their website on all the ways you can get involved to help promote adoptions of the more then 129,000 children living in foster care in the US.

Adopt US Kids

http://www.adoptuskids.org/

Filled with resource information, advocacy and photolistings of children waiting for the forever families!

Rainbow Kids

http://www.rainbowkids.com/

Information on US foster adoptions, International Adoptions, articles, waiting children, advocacy. It is all here, lots to check out and learn!

National Council For Adoption

http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/about/about_intro.html

Champion of adoption advocacy, policy, initiatives and reform.

Act of Kindness

http://www.actofkindness.blogspot.com/

Blog of an amazing couple who took a leap of faith and took things into their own hands and have made an amazing difference!

Please take note of their current challenge: Pie to the Face for kids. If this looks like fun for you, please donate and choose my friend, Melanie!!

Thank you for the taking the time to explore these sites and hopefully finding something that fits you!

If you dont have the time but still would like to make a donation, get in touch with me, I can let you know about some projects going on with our agency and the foundation. After all if it were not for them, Alek and Maks would not be here!

When you hug and kiss your child tonight think of all those children who won't get a hug and kiss and a bedtime story. Anything you do or give, no matter how small or big, makes a difference. Make a difference in the life of a child.

Thanks to all of you who make a difference in the lives of my children. We know that without our family and friends we would not be the Harkins, Party of Four!

Scarey, Skates, Stats

Halloween came very quickly and seemed to catch me by surprise as always, given the fact I was buying my candy about 2 hours before trick or treating started! I had grand plans for great costumes for the boys. One would be a dragon and the other a knight. I was excited. They wanted no parts of it. They wanted to go to the store and pick out their own. How quickly you lose control over dressing them up. So off to Target we went. They could pick out what they wanted as long as it didn't have a gun or a weapon. Alek chose the Incredible Hulk for his muscles and Maks picked a Power Ranger. They were very excited, so that is what counts.

They had a fun Halloween. I helped with Alek's fall party in his class. It was alot of fun and very cute to see him in action in his kindergarten class. Friday Alek was off so he went to LL all day with Maks and they had their Halloween party and parade. They had a blast. Halloween we went and visited Granny in their costumes and then headed back home for the action. The rain cut short our rounds, but we headed to our neighbors for a little party. The kids had a blast. So we spent the next day recovering from sugar high and Phillies loss.

We signed Alek up for skating lessons. Kevin had bought him hockey skates only for us to find out they rather them use figure skates to learn, but the skates are included with the lesson. So that was good. It was a trip watching him hit the ice. He fell alot, he has happy feet and a hard time keeping his body still. SO this will be good for him, force him to really focus on his whole body. He loved it though. He was cracking up every time he fell. It was nice, only 3 kids per teacher. Maks was very upset, he wanted lessons too. So, next session we will let him try.Maks had to try the hockey skates on though, he looks the part. We decided to take them both skating on a Friday night. It was fun, though it has probably been about 9 years since I have been on skates,thankfully I didn't fall. Maks did great, he really focuses and can be a perfectionist, he wants to get it right. He took his time and let the ice do the work, not his feet. He was cracking me up, because when he fell he would get mad at the ice, "stupid ice!" Alek tested out the hockey skates and really stuck with it. Kevin said he did better his second class this week. He does enjoy so that is what matters.
Next up was Maks' 3 yr well visit. He has grown a little over 3 inches in a year. His new stats are 41.5 inches and 38 pounds. He really is getting tall and thinning out. Sorry Mike, no longer can call him Fatty McButterpants! He does remain solid and tough!
Well I blinked and October is gone. November is here, seems like we were sitting on the beach yesterday. Lots ahead for the month. Taking the boys for their passports next week for our trip the end of the year. Alek heads to ENT to figure out what to do with this tube in his ear that wont come out on its own and now gets infected. Both have dental appts. Then its Thanksgiving at our house. I love Thanksgiving, love the smells, the food, the fun and most important, family.

I just saw an ad today that Santa will be coming to the local mall this weekend-WHAT!!???!!! Seriously, they can't wait until after Thanksgiving, it just seems wrong. Bad enough we have to see all the xmas stuff out already, but the Big Guy making an early appearance. Just ridiculous. Why do we have to rush it all?